Random Thoughts/Express Yourself

[amber]

Originally Posted by sparky

I could write a PhD on this one.

I think those are a few reasons. Mainly it isn't the addiction or the compulsion.
I have found a few things in my married buddies personalities that really explain a lot.
Most of them don't want to be married. Period. When you get down to it, they felt they HAD to get married, and HAD to have kids. They got married sooner than they should have, and most of them to the wrong woman. Let's face it, only a fraction of humans take any personal responsibility these days. So, anyone who feels hurt, and feels victimized or "unhappy", feels the permission to go out and get satisfied. Fill in the blank for what the satisfaction entails - food, sex, danger, spending on credit cards, etc.
People want what they want and they want it NOW.
I also think that our modern society fails to realize that marriage is a modern construct. The concept of these crazy over the top "weddings" for everyone only took hold in the Victorian era. Before that the big wedding was the sole domain of the wealthy and marriage was about property transfer and control of power. Families arranged marriages to consolidate wealth and power. The romance thing is new new new. Love is not - but the concept of a romantic, fulfilling, fairy tale marriage definitely is.
For tens of thousands of years, men (and this is about why MEN cheat) have not had to control their sexual drive the way modern society demands. I am not apologizing -this is history. This is history and we are when you get down to it, animals. Biologically and historically, women have had kids and raised them, men have gone out and killed stuff and protected them. Not a whole lot time to worry about sexual fidelity and romantic fulfillment. That is a lot of history that has had to have had an impact, and imprint on the way the mind operates. Modern marriage, in my opinion, runs counter to tens of thousands of years of history and behavior in the male of the species. Do I think marriage and monogomy are wrong ? No. But I think this is one of the main reasons why men cheat. And by and large, probably will always cheat. Everyone forgets that the way we live now is brand new, and a mere sliver in the history of our species. This whole marriage thing is a small branch on an enormous oak tree of social history.

I was going to say, I always wondered why men got married... It just seems like a state of being that is so far from symbiotic with human nature, to me. I'm sure it works for some people, but overall, I don't really think it's the best idea.