Cheating

[GardenStateGirlie]

As much as I always profess that it's best to be honest with someone--and I am extremely honest at times--I'm not sure that i'd want someone to tell me nor would I want to be the one to tell. First off, it ruins the relationship between you and the person who's being cheated on. Not to mention, when your heart is involved, you're blinded. The person might not believe you to begin with and call you a liar. Meanwhile, the cheater is still cheating and the person being cheated on, although suspicious for a while, will more than likely have their fears eased with a pack of lies told by the cheater. In the end, the truth more than likely will prevail so as ****ty as it sounds, it's best not to get involved and let it be dealt with in its own time in it's own way.

Back when I was in high school, two of my teachers (one of whom I was friendly with) were having an affair. The female teacher was recently divorced and the male teacher, on his third marriage, had a wife and three children. Word got around big time (can't say any of us helped that situation--especially when it would happen IN school) and her reputation was totally tarnished (and she hadn't been working there very long). I'm still not sure whether or not his wife found out but good God, EVERYONE knew from the students to their coworkers and the administration--people that knew his wife. I felt bad for her. The year after I graduated, I saw them all in the mall together--he and his wife, arm and arm pushing their daughter in a stroller.

[lagringader&r]

My vote is don't tell, especially if you don't know the person you're telling that well. In my opinion, there's already something wrong with the relationship if there's cheating going on. Fortunately, I haven't had to deal with that yet so I can't speak from personal experience, but one of my closest male friends is the concierge at a very nice LA hotel and the stories he tells me are Obviously some of the clients who register or "keep" women there, celebrities included, are married men because they register under a different name and usually pay with cash. I always feel really bad for the wives. But his job requires him to be discreet and I think the same rule applies to someone you know as a friend or an acquaintance. If you don't know all the facts about the relationship, it's better to leave it alone I think.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

As much as I always profess that it's best to be honest with someone--and I am extremely honest at times--I'm not sure that i'd want someone to tell me nor would I want to be the one to tell.

If I were being cheated on, I would most definitely want to be told.
I won't put up with infidelity. I can do MUCH better than someone who cheats on me, and would rather be single than dating a cheater.

As for telling someone else... well, that depends on the nature of your relationship. I'd tell my best friend if she had spinach between her teeth or had her skirt tucked into her pantyhose... so why wouldn't I tell her if her boyfriend/husband/whatever is running around with someone else? She deserves to know, before everyone else does.

But if I didn't know the person being cheated on very well, then I would mind my own business.

[paleshadow]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

If I were being cheated on, I would most definitely want to be told.
I won't put up with infidelity. I can do MUCH better than someone who cheats on me, and would rather be single than dating a cheater.

As for telling someone else... well, that depends on the nature of your relationship. I'd tell my best friend if she had spinach between her teeth or had her skirt tucked into her pantyhose... so why wouldn't I tell her if her boyfriend/husband/whatever is running around with someone else? She deserves to know, before everyone else does.

But if I didn't know the person being cheated on very well, then I would mind my own business.

You know what I'm hearing a lot of people saying, that the wife probably knows, but doesn't want to know. A lot of women I talk to who are married say that the way he behaives would be at least cause for suspicion. Some married women have even said that they don't really care as long as the husband comes home to them and is a good father/provider. That actually makes me want to throw up, but to each his, or her own I guess.
There's also the whole topic of safe sex to be considered too. I personally would want to know so I could protect myself. If I chose to stay with a cheater, that's one thing, but I wouldn't want to take a chance with my life.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by paleshadow

Some married women have even said that they don't really care as long as the husband comes home to them and is a good father/provider. That actually makes me want to throw up, but to each his, or her own I guess.

That line of thinking makes me nauseous, too. I've had big time self-esteem issues over the years, and I know I've put up with things in relationships that others probably wouldn't, but I've always had more self-respect than to rationalize someone cheating on me or to let them get away with it.

Originally Posted by paleshadow

There's also the whole topic of safe sex to be considered too. I personally would want to know so I could protect myself. If I chose to stay with a cheater, that's one thing, but I wouldn't want to take a chance with my life.

Exactly.
Don't be bringing someone else's cooties home to me, thank you very much.

[dissention]

Originally Posted by paleshadow

Some married women have even said that they don't really care as long as the husband comes home to them and is a good father/provider.

Have you been talking to Goldie Hawn?

[dissention]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

As for telling someone else... well, that depends on the nature of your relationship. I'd tell my best friend if she had spinach between her teeth or had her skirt tucked into her pantyhose... so why wouldn't I tell her if her boyfriend/husband/whatever is running around with someone else? She deserves to know, before everyone else does.

Blatantly telling someone that they're being cheated on by their spouse or lover shows a lack of couth, in my opinion. It isn't the business of anyone but the two people in that particular relationship.