If you like Celebrity Gossip...

[dissention]

Originally Posted by amber

Seriously. Soon Maria will have to face backwards to see people...

That wouldn't be very conducive to her gig selling overpriced and fugly porcelain dolls on QVC. Seriously, one more facelift and her mouth will open the next time she crosses her legs.

[dissention]

Oh, thank christ she's being sent up the river.

[GardenStateGirlie]

It looks like she got up, rolled out of bed, took off her slippers and put on a fugly pair of boots and a belt with a crazy sweater and decided to go to the IFC awards.

Dear Maria. That? is appropriate if...oh, I don't know--you maybe want to go out and get the mail? Or scoop up dog **** out back on a chilly morning? Or ring the cowbell on the front porch for Billy Joe and Billy Joe Jr. to come in from the farm and get their eggs, coffee and morning paper? Yikes.

[GardenStateGirlie]

Originally Posted by dissention

Oh, thank christ she's being sent up the river.

Sadly, with those boobs, she'll have no trouble staying afloat. Visions of Diana Ross playing with her chest will never vanish from my brain unfortunately

[dissention]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

It looks like she got up, rolled out of bed, took off her slippers and put on a fugly pair of boots and a belt with a crazy sweater and decided to go to the IFC awards.

Dear Maria. That? is appropriate if...oh, I don't know--you maybe want to go out and get the mail? Or scoop up dog **** out back on a chilly morning? Or ring the cowbell on the front porch for Billy Joe and Billy Joe Jr. to come in from the farm and get their eggs, coffee and morning paper? Yikes.

"Dinna! Dinna, I said! Dinna's ready! Wipe off yer boots, no mud or dung on my freshly scrubbed floors! And don't forget the moonshine, I just need a bitty swig to get through the next few hours, Billy Joe!"

[dissention]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

Sadly, with those boobs, she'll have no trouble staying afloat. Visions of Diana Ross playing with her chest will never vanish from my brain unfortunately

She's what most sane people refer to as "Torpedo Tits".

Brassieres...
They're on the second floor of Sears,
Will make your tits jut out like spears

[amber]

Originally Posted by dissention

Oh, thank christ she's being sent up the river.

Oh. MY. But do I ever see her on not think that? - This one is exempt from my contract, too.

[dissention]

More of 'Lil (not!) Kim:

[amber]

Originally Posted by dissention

More of 'Lil (not!) Kim:

Please Stop. well...it's nice to see less of her. Any of her in opaque shrouds?

[wondergirl9847]

I'll have nightmares now.

[GardenStateGirlie]

Originally Posted by dissention

"Dinna! Dinna, I said! Dinna's ready! Wipe off yer boots, no mud or dung on my freshly scrubbed floors! And don't forget the moonshine, I just need a bitty swig to get through the next few hours, Billy Joe!"

My sentiments exactly. Some people do well without a stylist. Others should hire one (or more), build a spare room and have a live in. It's that bad. And if this is the work of a stylist? Perhaps they shouldn't shop for a while O_o

[GardenStateGirlie]

Originally Posted by dissention

She's what most sane people refer to as "Torpedo Tits".

Brassieres...
They're on the second floor of Sears,
Will make your tits jut out like spears

She's something alright. I was thinking more along the lines of "foul."

[dissention]

I will forever refer to her as The Massive Genital Wart on the Crotch of the Grand Diva of Fug from now on, dammit.

[dissention]

Originally Posted by GardenStateGirlie

She's something alright. I was thinking more along the lines of "foul."

Calling her foul is like saying Julia Roberts has big teeth. It's already obvious.

[GardenStateGirlie]

Originally Posted by dissention

I will forever refer to her as The Massive Genital Wart on the Crotch of the Grand Diva of Fug from now on, dammit.

Are you trying to make me projectile-vomit up my yogurt??

I miss her Celebrity Skin days....and the earlier days of Hole when she was flat out ridiculous in her babydoll dresses and maryjanes. Now she's just sad