Is anyone faithful anymore??

[DeeGeMe]

Originally Posted by Janet

Now I'm terrified of ever being in a relationship. Men scare me. I never had a open healthy relationship ever. I really feel I will be single the rest of my life.So much more goes into this but I'm putting a fresh perspective on this. The evil people you speak of, I am one of them. But you take what you get and its a challenge maybe, and it's not a real committment and when you have no confindence, you are content being a side thing. That's all I ever expected I could be.

The married men....they are pigs. Usually they just need someone younger who will give them a different kind of sex. Plus they know young people are stupid, they will believe that it's ok, that they love you blah blah.

I know alot of people who have done what I done, maybe not knowing or totally knowing...it's really bad out there. Married men go to happy hour and take a girl to a hotel.

It's just horrible. I will never get married. I will get what I deserve but I doubt I'm strong enough to handle that.

It just stinks...but thats life isn't it?

Janet--if at all possible, you need to get some therapy and figure out why you fell into these relationships and why you're willing to settle for less. There are many companies out there that offer mental health counseling to their employees for free-and it's confidential too--so you have nothing to lose. There are also local mental health organizations out there too that offer no-cost or low-cost counseling.

I can't tell you how much good it did me when I broke up with my longtime boyfriend and was trying to figure out what I had done wrong (Turns out it wasn't me after all!). It was really like talking to a friend except they gave me a whole new persepective on the situation.

Anyway, don't ask me how, but the bad guys (and girls too) can smell self-esteem issues in someone a million miles away. Trust me, they know full-well who they can make their victim. But you don't need to be a willing volunteer any more. Being independent and happily single is one thing but avoiding relationships is quite another. I promise you that if you get stronger and healthier, then the good ones will find you! Then you can decide if you'd rather go it alone or if yeah, maybe committment doesn't look so bad after all.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by DeeGeMe

Anyway, don't ask me how, but the bad guys (and girls too) can smell self-esteem issues in someone a million miles away. Trust me, they know full-well who they can make their victim. But you don't need to be a willing volunteer any more. Being independent and happily single is one thing but avoiding relationships is quite another. I promise you that if you get stronger and healthier, then the good ones will find you! Then you can decide if you'd rather go it alone or if yeah, maybe committment doesn't look so bad after all.

Yep, I'm a strong believer in therapy...BUT a person has to be completely ready and willing otherwise nothing will come of it...and a good therapist is also important, a lot of times people go to one..don't click or have a negative experience and base the whole thing on that...swearing off therapy for good...I've come to find you have every right to shop around so to speak and interview your docs before finding the right one...but yeah, if someone is repeatedly falling into bad relationship then there's something there that needs to be looked at...

I had a lot of bad "relationships" in my last year of high school and into college, the last one left me defeated and totally crushed with no self-esteem, and I knew at that point, I needed to do something about myself if I were ever to be in a healthy good relationship...so after a lot of soul searching and some therapy I did meet a great guy...and he's the one I just broke up with haha..but it wasn't a bad break up by any means...in fact we just spoke today...he's like an old friend now..it's nice....

And I didn't mean to imply that I think people who have affairs are evil..I know there are issues and stuff and reasons as to why people get involved in situations like these...they just seem to be getting more common, which is what freaks me out...

[littlelies7]

After reading all this, it reminds me of something my mother told me when I was young: "Be picky."

And also, I got the rest of my life to find my Mr. Right. I don't see the rush to get married and have children. So, if it takes me a long time, well... so be it. I can concentrate on my writing.