Childfree

[vivfox]

I'm 49 now. When I was 15 I said I was never going to get married and never going to have kids. My family was convinced I was gonna be the one to have the most kids.

I never got married and I never had kids. For a few minutes in my late 30's I wished I had kids but that was because I was lonely and thought they would fill that void.

With pride I can state that I have never changed a diaper in my life. Kids annoy me. Keep them away from me. Please don't toss your kid on the phone when I've called to talk to YOU. Nothing annoys me more than to have to talk baby talk to a toddler.

A good friend recently had a baby and keeps badgering me to come over and see it. I don't give a fu&k about newborns. It only means I have to spend money on a gift. Plus she lives on the 4th floor of an apt. building with no elevator and Viv does not want to climb those stairs!

Like others have mentioned, I too am selfish with my time and money. I love my nieces and nephews but was always happy to send them back to their parents when they annoyed me.

I used to babysit my young cousins back in the early 1980's and these two girls always pissed me off. They recently reminded me that in order to chase them out of the room I would loudly sing songs by Stevie Nicks and they would repulsively run upstairs to avoid my horrible singing.

I have a policy that no one is aloud to bring their kids into my home if they are 3 years old or younger. They touch things and break things. Not cool.

And lastly(I really don't mean to offend any Ledgie) I don't like feeling obligated to say, "congratulations, you are having a baby!" But I have said this in the past and unfortunately will have to say this in the future again and again.

Rant over.