Bryson T--My Life on the D-List (ha ha)

[brysondt]

So not that anyone cares, but can I just have a moment to complain about this D-list life that I am now living?

I am a college graduate. It took me 6 years to get my bachelor's, but I was very indecisive. I began with early childhood education as my major and then switched to business management. After a semester of accounting classes, I decided business was not for me. It was then that I decided communication was what my heart really desired. I loved everything about that major; I loved journalism and reporting, broadcasting, graphic design, and even public relations. Advertising wasn't so much fun for me because my brain doesn't work that way, but I waded through those classes and finally graduated 6 weeks ago.

I felt very proud of myself because no one in my family had ever graduated college; heck, most of them didn't even finish high school, so needless to say, this was quite an accomplishment for me. Through college I worked my way up the food chain and became a general manager for a large catering company in Salt Lake where, ironically, I made pretty good money and almost decided to drop out of college. But no no....I stayed firm in my college decision and kept going. After transferring to a different university, I started to work for a magazine and quickly became an editor. Editing is my passion, although I am sure there will be errors in this post, it is something that I truly love. I designed layouts and completely restructured a magazine that had been around for over 20 years. I really thought I was ON MY WAY in life, you know? I had my degree and now it was time to take over the world, right?

Well--that has not been the case. It's a horrible time to graduate with a degree in communication. Newspapers and magazines aren't hiring, in fact, with all the online news, most print organizations are going completely out of business. So I've been applying for every job that I am possibly qualified for, only to be turned down or never called back. I've been out of work for 6 weeks and finally, 2 days ago, I walked into a restaurant called Hoppers, and applied to be a hostess. This is surely life on the D-list to the 10th power.

I just got home from my first night of work and I feel extremely pissed off at the world, haha. I'm 24 years old, I have all this work experience and a degree and I do not want to be trained by a 16 yr old kid thats in high school. It's so soul stripping, really. But what really irritates me, is how seriously Hoppers takes the position as a hostess. I am going through like...some hardcore training. I am supposed to work in the morning and I am deathly afraid to go back, lol. Give me a 200 page magazine and I will have it ready for you in 3 days, but give me a restaurant full of angry, hungry people, and I will just freeze up. This is terrible. I feel so....hmm, grateful that I have any income at all, but also very disappointed and discouraged that I am the lowest individual on the food chain at Hoppers. Like, what the hell am I supposed to do with my life? What I am making there is like, pocket change, you know?

I actually have enough education credits to qualify me to teach kindergarten and I applied this week for a teaching position, but I won't hear back from them until Monday. Still, teaching kindergarten isn't a ton of money either, but damn--I have expensive tastes, lol. I can't even go to the mall with my best friend because it's too much for me to walk past bebe and Banana Republic and NOT go inside, because if I do, I will starve for the rest of the week because I WILL spend my grocery money, lol. I went to Urban Outfitters with an old friend on Saturday and found the cutest dress and sandals that I desperately needed....but I couldn't afford it. I CANNOT LIVE ON THE D-LIST! This kind of life is not for me. I need help. I think I am really going into cardiac arrest, guys. I haven't slept for 2 days straight because when I try to sleep, my heart starts to race and I really think it 's because of financial stress, haha. No--not funny, very serious.

Is there any hope for me? Somebody please tell me that this is only temporary and that I will someday have a real job because me and Hoppers cannot build a long term relationship. I can't do it. My heart can't take it, lol.

On a brighter note, Fleetwood Mac played 3 times tonight while I was at work, haha. "Little Lies", "Seven Wonders", and "As Long as You Follow"--apparently this was some 80s playlist or something, but it was pretty cool. I also heard Tom Petty about a thousand times, which is cool, because Tom Petty and I are going to get married if something happens to Lindsey Buckingham.

Anyway guys-- is there hope in these economically challenged times for me to find a real paying career??? Well, at least if I become famous someday I can dramatize this whole period in my life, much like Stevie has done, and make people feel even more sorry for me. AHHHH! Damn the D-List life!