How to tell a real Stevie fan from a fake Stevie fan

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-A fake Stevie fan actually likes the Dixie Chicks version of Landslide.
A real Stevie fan runs out of bed screaming at 1 in the morning and throws their Dance CD in the stereo and listens to Landslide three times over after catching a 1 1/2 second snippet of the Dixie Chick's version while station flipping.

-A fake Stevie fan believes that all female rock stars should wear leather pants and look like butch lesbians.
A real Stevie fan gets upsets when Stevie's newest stage costume isn't flowing and diaphanous enough.

-A fake Stevie fan can't believe she really banged Mick Fleetwood.
A real Stevie fan can find appealing qualities in Mick Fleetwood.

-A fake Stevie fan can't figure out the meaning behind Sara.
A real Stevie fan thinks that Sara is mere child's play.

-A fake Stevie fan can't tell if a picture of Stevie was taken in 1976 or in 1984.
A real Stevie fan can determine the time and place a picture of Stevie was taken just by looking at her jewelry, hair style, microphone, or that chip on her right middle tooth that disappeared in the mid 80s.

-A fake Stevie fan complains about how high her voice has become recently.
A real Stevie fan finds the above statement absolutely hilarious.

-A fake Stevie fan finds this list extremely offensive.
A real Stevie fan is laughing at the fake Stevie fan.

-A fake Stevie fan gets extremely excited when annoucing that they have "every live version of Nightbird ever performed!"
A real Stevie fan knows that there were only two, and breaks down laughing right there.

-A fake Stevie fan is one that doesn't own a copy of Tusk because they heard it was "weird."
A real Stevie fan has shed more tears listening to Sara, Storms, and Beautiful Child than every other song put together.

-A fake Stevie fan laments that fact that she'll "sound like Bob Dylan" in a few years.
A real Stevie fan has no problem with this, because she'll have no problem harmonizing with Tom Petty.

-A fake Stevie fan likes the studio version of Rhiannon because her "voice is pretty on it."
A real Stevie fan considers the Rosebud Rhiannon "comparatively mild" to "some of the bootlegs they've heard."

-A fake Stevie fan thinks she still has a crippling cocaine addiction.
A real Stevie fan wishes they'd invent cocaine that wasn't bad for you.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks she sounded like a goat during the mid-80s.
A real Stevie fan remembers the good old days.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that black chiffon is the way to go.
A real Stevie fan is overcome by the sight of floppy berets, flapper dresses, and flowing scarves. Preferably at the same time.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that Edge of Seventeen is about Stevie boffing a tennaged boy.
A real Stevie fan spends half an hour with their significant other discussing the meaning of Edge of Seventeen.

-A fake Stevie fan thinks that Lindsey and Stevie are madly in love with each other.
A real Stevie fan wishes she'd get robotic legs so she could kick Lindsey in the crotch repeatedly with her gigantic platform boots.

-A fake Stevie fan wishes she'd stop wearing those "stupid boots" and wear something more comfortable.
A real Stevie fan believes that Stevie should have both of her legs and hips replaced with futuristic robotic prosthetics, so she can go back to wearing six-inch platforms.