My dad's going having surgery for bladder cancer on the 10th

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I'm sorry if I've been acting like a complete goof the last few weeks, because I've been hiding my true feelings.

My dad is going into surgery this Thursday for bladder cancer. It's a major operation that will involve removing his bladder and part of his large intestine. It's a relatively new surgery that may take as long as six hours.

I've been really worried about him the last few months. I've seen him three times since May because he's always depressed and never wants to leave his apartment. For a while we thought he would turn down the surgery and let himself die. He's lived away for eight years but thank God my mom doesn't hate him.

I really don't know what to do or who to talk to. I'm worried he won't make it through the surgery and I won't have anything to say to him.