Still Not Smoking and Other Things

[jannieC]

Not that anyone has asked , but I still haven't had a cigarette and it's been 6 weeks, 1 day (no, I'm not a freak- I have one of those Quit Meter things that tells me this.

It's been really hard. I am (was) a 20+ year hardcore smoker. My husband and I almost killed each other about 3 weeks ago (he quit too). I would say it was one of the bigger fights we've had in our 10 years together . We both did smoke that night (he had a whole one and I had 3 drags) but I think it's safe to say that we're winning this battle.

Between quitting smoking and the holidays, I realized I gained 15 lbs! So my mother and I joined Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago. I've lost 3.6 lbs so far and my mom has lost almost 5! My goal is to lose 15 lbs and get back to 130 and my mother is trying to lose 60 lbs. This has really helped with the quitting smoking because now instead of cigarettes, I'm thinking about food all the time! When I look at how I'm eating now, I can't believe the way I had been eating for the past few years. You know how people say, "I just eat whatever I want, whenever I want..."? Well, that really was me. I would never deny myself anything. If I wanted to eat something, I would. If I wanted to eat WAY TOO MUCH of something, I would. There has never been any kind of limit set on eating. Amazing. On the one hand, I've been able to spend many years enjoying fabulous, fatty, rich foods. On the other, I have a taste for that kind of food, which makes it extremely hard to change. But, I think quitting smoking prepared me for anything. If I can quit smoking, I can do anything.

Part of me feels weird not smoking and eating well. I feel like a traitor to the type of person I've always seen myself as. Like, as if becoming a healthy person is betraying the "real" me. That's hilarious. And stupid. I have a feeling that eventually, I am going to feel great about all this, physically as well as mentally.

Anyway, I just wanted to share that with everyone. Kind of a long and boring post, but if anyone is thinking of quitting smoking and would like some support, please PM me anytime.