I am so sad right now

[skcin]

I got horrible news on New Year's Day. My friend's baby boy Jack died on NYE morning. He was born early (30 weeks) but was stable & doing really well & there were no indications of any complications/illness/infection at all. He was 3&1/2 pounds & his brain & lungs were normal. They didn't even move him from the hospital he was born at to Children's Hospital cuz he was fine. Then his heart stopped Saturday morning.

I am devastated. I hadn't even seen him yet, and hadn't spoken much to my friend since she was so busy - they just bought a house & were trying close so they could move in before he was born. But she was put on bedrest, then he came early. My friend (who I've been friends with since we were 16, btw) actually didn't plan this baby - at all. So, within 6 months, she found out she was preg, got married (to her BF of 13 years), bought a house, had the baby......now, he's gone, in an instant, just like that. Hurry up, change your life, get excited, then it's all taken away.

How do you go on? I can't comprehend the pain they're feeling right now. Will they EVER be able to celebrate a new year again? When I got the call, I literally fell down on my kitchen floor & started sobbing, it was all so shocking. I can't imagine what they're going through. I haven't called yet, her mom said I could try, and that if she's not up to talking, she just won't answer the phone. I want to talk to her, but how many more "I'm sorry's" or "How are you holding up's" can she hear without throwing something at a wall? Feeling helpless right now.


I don't want sympathy, or advice, or anything, and I certainly don't want to burden any of you or make you feel bad. I just needed to vent, so thanks.