Birthday Greetings for 2006

[SteveMacD]

Since I totally suck when it comes to posting on birthday threads, I want to wish everybody a happy birthday in advance for 2006. So...

You're another year older. (Well, d'uh!)

You're another year wiser. (Unless you've got Alzheimer's. Then you might not be as wise as you were last year. In any event, you should probably spend less time on the Internet and more time with your family. Of course, not everybody has family, so you should probably spend less time on the Internet and more time with your friends. But then, not everybody has friends. In that case, you should go to the courthouse, change your last name to Rigsby, and...Wait, where was I going with this???)

May your day be bright and cheery. (Unless you're doing hard time. Then may your day be filled with shame and reflection.)

May you enjoy your cake. (That is assuming you're allowed to EAT cake or even LIKE cake. Okay, may you enjoy whatever f*ck it is you like to eat on your birthday. For prison dude, may you not have to toss a salad.)

And, be sure to blow out all the candles. (But, if you're around an arsonist or somebody hooked up to an oxygen tank, you should probably skip the candles. Unless there's an insurance policy involved. But be careful. Just ask prison dude!)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.