Isn't it ironic...

[stargazer99]

I apologize in advance if this turns into rambling, but I really need to vent....

As I've mentioned in other threads, we moved from Chicago to TX earlier this year, due to my husband's work situation. He was laid off from his job over 3 years ago. He works in the computer field, programming with a software package that about 99% of the US population has never heard of, much less used. And he's not experienced in any other programming languages (nor does he have a C.S. degree), which these days, makes it pretty much impossible for him to find a permanent job in the computer field. And we really can't afford for him to take an entry level job that doesn't pay anything. So he's worked contract positions on and off over the last three years. Two of those contracts were here in TX, for a total of about 1-1/2 years. Unfortunately, none of the jobs have paid his expenses, so lodging, air fare, etc, has all been out of pocket. Therefore, although the hourly rates have been good, a lot of the money he has made has been eaten up by expenses. We've been barely scraping by financially.

The last contract he had here, he was down here for over a year, while I was home working full time and taking care of a 4-year old. The contract was supposed to last several more months, with a strong possibility of a permanent position. And I was able to get a transfer with my job. So, we moved down here. Unfortunately, the company ended his contract about 2 weeks after we arrived. Since then, he's had some bites at other contracts, but nothing came of any of them. In the meantime, he's started up his own business (catering -- he was a chef many years ago). He's gotten a decent amount of business, but really hasn't made any profit yet. Most of the money has gone back into the business. In the meantime, our financial situation has become dire. And I'm not very happy here. I miss my family and friends, and am struggling with how conservative it is politically down here. But he's determined to stay here. So he's stepped up the hunt for another job on the side while trying to get the business off the ground. Great news: he just landed another contract. It's expected to last 6 months. I'm very relieved, because I really believe that if things were to continue this way, we'd lose our house. But here's the kicker: The job is in Chicago! Which means not only are we going to be living apart again, with me doing the "single mom" thing again, but the job is located where we just moved from!

This time, we won't have to worry about paying two sets of housing bills, because he will be staying with our ex-neighbor. So that's good news as well. But I still feel like I've been kicked in the gut! We've fought for the last several months over money, and the fact that we moved down here for his job, which ended right after we got down here. And the fact that I'm not happy here, but he refuses to move back home. And now, for the next six months, he'll be back there, while I'm stuck down here. Unfortunately, it's not feasible for us to go with him. Because then, we'd have to get our own place to live, which again would cause us to be paying for two households. And he refuses to move back there permanently, so selling the house and returning for good isn't an option. The only thing that's allowing me any shred of sanity is the fact that we desparately need the money, so in that sense, the job offer did come at the right time.

But I'm worried about my son as well. He had a lot of problems adjusting to his dad not being there when we were still up north and he was down here. And I'm afraid it will be very difficult for him this time as well. Not to mention that at my son's age, he changes every day. So my husband misses a lot of his growing up being away for that long. He will, of course, fly home on weekends when he can. But this job isn't paying his expenses either, so we have to be careful how often we do that.

Then, as if I'm not stressed enough about all this, I pick my son up from daycare today, and find out that his daycare center is closing as of Dec. 9. So we have less than a month to find other arrangements. The day they close is about 2 weeks after my husband leaves for Chicago. And my son doesn't do real well with a lot of change. Every time he's had to change daycare in the past, it's been a huge adjustment for him. When my husband was down here for over a year, my son had changed classrooms at school the same day my husband left. And that sent him into a tizzy. Every day for the next 4 months, when I dropped him off at school, he clung to me crying, and stood at the window bawling as I drove off. So I can imagine what's going to happen when he has to change schools again, right after my husband leaves again.

I keep telling myself "we need the money, so this is a good thing". But I"m really having a tough time with the irony of it all...