Grrrr

[Mari]

Excuse me, I need to vent!!
There's a colleague here who's been getting in my 'personal space' way too often for a while. At first I didn't really notice it that much, it's not like I'm a prude and can't stand some contact now and then. I work with a lot of men and he wasn't the only one who's being a bit flirtatious. I don't mind that, but there's a line somewhere. Most people know to keep to it.
He f* ing crossed it. Hanging over you while you're at the computer, looking 'that way' at your body, touching your face (I REALLY don't like that. That's treating you as a child. HEllo, I'm an adult woman, respect, please), when you've bare arms taking that opportunity to touch them a liiiiitle bit too long, grabbing you from behind as a 'joke'. That one did it, really.

I found it difficult to say something about it at first because there's a big grey area. Talked about it with some women friends. Some are supportive, some think you are the problem. Anyway, decided at some point that enough really was enough, and at the next occasion would not keep quiet anymore.

Well, that occasion was today. I just reacted instinctively "don't touch me" and that really surprised him. He came to me later on to ask about it, was so surprised when I said, quite calmly, I felt he was crossing the lines and that I did not want him to touch me again. He gave me the "I'm like that with everyone" excuse, the "I did not mean anything with it" excuse, the "Have you had problems like this before that you're overreacting" line. I told him it's not fair to put this on me, all I wanted was to draw the line and could he please keep to that when I am asking him to. Ok, I guess he will now.

Sigh. Is this really so hard to understand? What's ok and what's not?