Wtf!

[dissention]

Kudos to whoever did them, though, because I am DYING with laughter. They're f*cking hysterical.

Well, I took Linds' black American Express card (only the best for me) and went down to Rodeo Drive in the Bentley. I saw these beautiful pearl and emerald earrings at Tiffany I just had to have and I picked up a couple of pairs of Jimmy Choos on the way home. I would have done more but the damn nanny kept sending me messages on my limited-edition Blackberry that the children refused to go to kiddie yoga and wanted to go to some place called McDonald's instead. Having grown up in the jet-set, I have never heard of such a place. Oh well. Maybe I'll make Lindsey take them there and track his car on GPS to make sure he doesn't go to that whore's house. I swear to god, if he sees her at all outside of touring, I'm going to have to do something about that. Maybe an unfortunate brake incident is in order.