Dissention's boy Kerry starts making sense

[dissention]

Originally posted by strandinthewind
I mean I think everyone agrees with the proposition that it is a good thing SH is no longer in power. I think what people like me want to hear is "there was a meltdown in our intelligence" Sorry Iraq.

Since I'm not like you in the way I think when it comes to politics and foreign policy ( ), this is what I'd like to hear:

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to begin with a confession. My staff and I lied to you about Iraq and its WMDs. They had none, but we chose to tell you they did. Why? Because they have oil. Because they tried to murder my pop and because I wanted to help out my campaing contributors where it counts: their checkbooks. We came up with a grand scheme that even included duct tape and plastic, but once again, I forgot to mention that the largest manufacturer of duct tape in the US was a major contributor to my campaign. But that's water under the bridge, or, as I like to say in Tex-ass, that's a prairie dog under a horse's ass! (appaulse from the Right) We lied to you and the UN so that we could invade Iraq and colonize there in the hopes that we could, in the near future, take control of their oil and use it to further our fortunes. Dick and I are in Halliburton's pocket and we hold a vested interest in their business, so it was only natural that we do what we can to make them money, therefore making ourselves money. I have used cocaine in the past, yet I'm not quite sure if I've used it in the past year. I may have and if I did, God told me to, folks. I failed to fund every program that I set up, including No Child Left Behind. I didn't give the $3 billion to fight AIDs like I promised. I am a drunk that caters to the far-right and I hope to force God down the throats of every American until they shout "Hallelujah!" from the rooftops. God tells me to do these things. But I am sorry. I am sorry I bastardized this country and you all so embarassed. I am sorry that almost every country hates us, it is all my fault. And hell, while I'm at it, I'll admit that I'm a white man with a small penis. Thanl you ladies and gentlemen, I will now resign and support whichever Democratic candidate you choose to support. Goodnight."

That would be a fab speech.