Planets of the Universe demo - They should do this live

[Iktomi]

Originally Posted by secret love

Give me a break. She has a fantastic life. I don't feel sorry at all and I know from my own life and from my parents' lives post-divorce that you absolutely do not need a lover to make you happy.

In fact, the people I've always pitied are those who need to constantly be in a relationship in order to be happy. I think people like that who are otherwise intelligent, sane people are just so darn insecure that they will never find happiness on their own, when nobody else is around. That to me, is pathetic.

Living your life not dependent on a man or a woman? That to me is the definition of a strong, secure, happy and well-grounded individual. Not to need someone else, not to need I'll say it, sex...to make you happy. If you aren't having sex with someone, for those who haven't worked this out yet, you don't owe them anything. That's why relationships are hard work, because of sex complicating an otherwise lovely friendship.

I must say, I have so many great friends, men and women, none of us have ever been in relationships with each other but those friendships are in many ways more enriching than a romance could ever be.

I agree that being a well-rounded and secure individual is important. Many people don't know how to be alone. That all being said, being in a relationship is not about depending on others. It's an interesting way to frame relationships. All relationships are about dependence in a way, and as humans, we do rely on one another. Numerous well-rounded and secure individuals are quite capable of being in a relationship, and can successfully balance their needs with the needs of the relationship. If you fear being consumed or fear that your independence will be stripped by being in a relationship, then really, you might not be in a truly secure place.

Relationships are just part of human existence. Depending on others does not make one weak. It's about balance and knowing when to give and take. I know you don't want to hear this, but you're still a very young individual...don't be so hard on love, romance, and relationships. You can still be a spirited individual/independent and be in love simultaneously. Knowing how to balance that is, in my opinion, what makes for a emotionally mature and well-balanced, and strong, human being.