A great thread for your funniest jokes !!!!!

[Madness Fades]

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see that her name is is Patricia Whack. He says, "Ms. Whack, I 'd like to take out a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000. The teller asks his name, and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, and that it is OK, he knows the bank manager. Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial sum and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can us as collateral. The frog says, "Sure, I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall. Bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there that claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. And he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a rolling stone."

[Gailh]

Picture the scene:

It's the Wild West and a man walks into a bar. He orders his drink and as he's standing at the bar he sees a poster. Wanted Dead or Alive the Brown Paper Kid.

He says to the barman "why is he called the Brown Paper Kid"

the barman replies that he wears a brown paper shirt, brown paper pants, brown paper boots and a brown paper hat. He shoots a brown paper gun and rides a brown paper horse.

"Wow that's amazing" says the man. "What's he wanted for?"

Rustling replies the barman

Gail

[sara1998]

A guy walks into a doctors office with a frog on his head. The doctor asks, "what's wrong with you?" The frog says, "I've got a bump on my ass."

[Madness Fades]

A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles.
The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.
He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his
wife.
She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cotton balls and
a ball of string on the counter. She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the
store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back
with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo
much cheaper.
So, I figure if I have to roll my own ......... so does she.