That's So Gay

[sparky]

I'm on the fence with this one. On one hand, I am extremely down on the whole politically correct bs. I am so politically incorrect that I offend people all the time. On the other hand, I know for a fact that there is an undercurrent to using that phrase for some people. For adolescent males, it's a way to distinguish themselves from a subject that makes them uncomfortable for countless reasons. It's a not so subtle putdown of homos and some but not all people who use the phrase are saying that there is something really wrong and bad about homos. And that can reinforce an environmental belief that can encourage more extreme expressions of that sentiment. When an entire group uses that as a catchall phrase...its hard to escape that the subtext is someone's identity or sexual orientation is equated with something wrong, not okay, or screwed up, its not a far stretch to feel its okay to lash out at those people. Not always. But it can be. Get a pack of 16 year old football players all wound up and the wrong thing gets said - pretty soon some nerdy, nelly gay boy's brains are on the cement. I'm saying this knowing how defenseless some scared gay adolescents can be.

There is a total double standard employed like other people have mentioned. People would be having a damned cow if there was catch phrase like "That's so nig" or "That's so kike". Can you imagine the uproar?

I see both sides of it. Language is not by definition violent and damaging, but it sure can express hostility well. Its all in the delivery and intent. And homo teenagers and younger kids are sometimes more vulnerable than others, even if they don't show it.

I'm not sure about banning speech. It seems extreme to me. Nonetheless, everyday some poor queer teenager is getting his or her head bashed in somewhere in the world. And frequently the schools don't give a damn about protecting them. So I don't know what the solution is. They use of such phrases doesn't always make those bad things happen, but I think the belief that they are always harmless can help foster an environment where such violence is probably more likely to take place.

[Beachwood Mac]

The meanings off all these words have taken on new meanings over the years. Gay never started out as a word to describe "homosexuals". Try reading a myspace account of a teenager. My 16 year old surfer nephew and all his lily tan friends throw "nigga" around like it was their name.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by sparky

I'm on the fence with this one . . . .

You say alot when your mouth is always full - faggot

[Sarah]

It doesn't matter in which context we use the words. In our minds, we still separate ourselves by identifying ourselves as gay, straight, black, white, intelligent, or delayed. There is no unity, so it really just doesn't matter, imo. When people stop identifying themselves with labels, the generalized derogatory remarks will stop.

That being said, I'll see you all in frozen hell, cuz it ain't gonna happen.

[sparky]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

You say alot when your mouth is always full - faggot

Good thing we can't see yer jizz stache while you're typing, Suzanne.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by sparky

Good thing we can't see yer jizz stache while you're typing, Suzanne.

It's a sanchez

[sparky]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

It's a sanchez

Who says no one is as foul as Diss was?
You still have the grossest ledgie tiara, you snowball queen.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by sara1998

Yes, however, if one is ok with thier sexuality, why take the statement, not directed at someone who is homosexual, and turn it into a personal insult? Im' not callous or miserable, but I use the term frequently. I mean no harm with it. It's just my opinion that people need to have thicker skin.

"Faggot" hurt me to the core when I was a teenager. My sexual orientation was something I struggled with to the point that I almost killed myself over it.
So, back then, the word hurt. A lot.

Now that I'm older, I know it's just a word and only has power if you let it.
But I remember how that 15 year old felt, and it really does pain me to think that there are other kids somewhere going through what I did. "That's so gay" has a negative connotation and I'm sure that's not lost on the kids going through the difficulties of growing up gay. Same with "that's so retarded."

I'd rather err on the side of caution, I guess.

And I absolutely want to apologize, Maria, if I made it sound like I thought you were being callous or that you must be a miserable person. I adore you. That certainly wasn't directed at you.

[skcin]

^ You're a sick bastard, Strand.


When people say "that's gay," they most likely mean that's stupid, or ridiculous, or uncool. So I could see how a gay person would be offended - you're equating being gay with being stupid or abnormal But like Terry said, gay used to mean happy. Of course, I damn well know people aren't saying "that's so f*cking happy!" But I don't think that people mean to direct it towards gay people either. I'm so confused.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by sparky

Who says no one is as foul as Diss was?
You still have the grossest ledgie tiara, you snowball queen.

Did you use Purell on that fence before you straddled it? And, exactly how long were you riding it?

PERV HIJACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by Sarah

In a way, I feel like that comes back to that ****ty parenting we were discussing, Stew.

Pfft. Breeders.

You're absolutely right, Sarah. Learning right and wrong should absolutely begin and end at home. Teachers, school staff, etc., shouldn't have to teach a child morality.
Too bad so many parents don't agree.

Originally Posted by Sarah

It doesn't hurt to be mindful of feelings, and I usually am. I'm a pretty sensitive person.. emotionally. But not hypersensitive to the point that figures of speech put me up in arms.

It's a definite grey area. How much do we let slide, and where do we draw the line? What's "just the way kids talk" and what's a prejudice-motivated slur?

Not an easy thing to define at all!

[strandinthewind]

Interestingly, it is all kids. I have personally witness black kids ganging up on white kids this way. Yet, they are kind of given a free pass for it.

In the end, kids are mean and there is not much we can do about it other than try to educate them.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Interestingly, it is all kids. I have personally witness black kids ganging up on white kids this way. Yet, they are kind of given a free pass for it.

In the end, kids are mean and there is not much we can do about it other than try to educate them.

"Now Strand, it's not nice to call Sparky a faggot. Even if he is one."

[BTFLCHLD]

Originally Posted by sparky

Good thing we can't see yer jizz stache while you're typing, Suzanne.

Not part of the strandy email distribution list, eh? You would not believe how many cam angles he is capable of.

[Sarah]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

It's a definite grey area. How much do we let slide, and where do we draw the line? What's "just the way kids talk" and what's a prejudice-motivated slur?

It really is a grey area. And to be honest, I don't think there is a way to decide how to draw the line until it gets to the point of hate crime.

As bad as a slur is, it's like.. if someone has that in their soul anyway, does it matter to them if someone tells them they're bad? I'm having a hard time putting my thoughts into words on this. Freedom of speech is a double edged sword, for sure. It's a shame that people say some of the things they do, but it's even more of a shame that everyone feels the need to care about what everyone else thinks of them.

On a lighter note, I'm going to start saying "that's so hetero" for stuff that's stupid and see if it catches on. I bet it will, because a lot of my friends tend to pick up on phrases that I use (not because I'm sooooo cool.. just because i say a lot of whack ****).