All-time worst song.

becca · #1 06-15-2006, 12:35 AM

I think I have heard the worst song ever written, it is so bad I have never gotten past the second line of it. It's called Fifi The Flea. It goes "Fifi the flea, fell in love... with the son of two flea circus clowns." Sometimes I only get as far as the fell in love part before I just have to shut it off. I thought Muskrat Love by Captain & Teneille (sp?) was pretty noxious but this flea business is even riper. It's on an Everly Brothers album where they are backed by The Hollies, and it is members of The Hollies responsible for this inexcusably twee yet sappily sad horror. I wouldn't even unleash it on N. Korea! Perhaps Nash and Clarke and Hicks were trying to go even lower than the Everlys' Ebony Eyes (where was Bob Welch back when he was most urgently needed?), in which case they succeeded gloriously as it is truly awful.

There are some very bad songs. I'm Just A Lonely Teenager by some very white sounding Dion & The Belmonts doo-wop wannabees is excruciating. It makes the song the Peanut Sisters sing to Mothra seem hip. Even Wolverton Mountain and Running Bear Loves Little White Dove almost seem passable next to I'm Just A Lonely Teenager.

If anyone can reach lower than Fifi The Flea I would be astonished, but are there any lists of the worst songs ever written? Have any been used in actual combat? Perhaps a Jack Black fan would know...

ragandbone · #2 06-15-2006, 12:51 AM

"Sometimes When We Touch"
"She's Having My Baby"
Those are two that come to mind immediately.

There was an art project in the late 90's in which a couple of artists surveyed about 500 people, and tallied results to create the two songs, most wanted, and most unwanted. I wish I still had this Cd, so I could post the song!
This is from their website
"The Most Wanted Song
a musical work that will be unavoidably and uncontrollably “liked” by 72 ± 12% of listeners

The Most Unwanted Song
fewer than 200 individuals of the world’s total population will enjoy this"

The most unwanted music is over 25 minutes long, veers wildly between loud and quiet sections, between fast and slow tempos, and features timbres of extremely high and low pitch, with each dichotomy presented in abrupt transition. The most unwanted orchestra was determined to be large, and features the accordion and bagpipe (which tie at 13% as the most unwanted instrument), banjo, flute, tuba, harp, organ, synthesizer (the only instrument that appears in both the most wanted and most unwanted ensembles). An operatic soprano raps and sings atonal music, advertising jingles, political slogans, and “elevator” music, and a children's choir sings jingles and holiday songs. The most unwanted subjects for lyrics are cowboys and holidays, and the most unwanted listening circumstances are involuntary exposure to commericals and elevator music. Therefore, it can be shown that if there is no covariance—someone who dislikes bagpipes is as likely to hate elevator music as someone who despises the organ, for example—fewer than 200 individuals of the world's total population would enjoy this piece.

amber · #3 06-15-2006, 01:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ragandbone

"Sometimes When We Touch"

This song infuriates me because I will want to sing with it, all the while wishing I'd never been born with hearing. I'm actually kind of pissed that you mentioned it, I've managed to steer clear of it for many years. Now, now it is stuck in my head.

I think I may sue.

becca · #4 06-15-2006, 01:11 AM

Quote:

This song infuriates me because I will want to sing with it

I'm like that about that patronizing little ditty "The Everyday Housewife".

ragandbone · #5 06-15-2006, 03:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

This song infuriates me because I will want to sing with it, all the while I'd never been born with hearing. I'm actually kind of pissed that you mentioned it, I've managed to steer clear of it for many years. Now, now it is stuck in my head.

I think I may sue.

My 5th grade guitar teacher (a bearded 70s sensitive guy who looked suspiciously similar to the author of the song)chose it for me to learn, and insisted I sing it. I stopped playing soon after, and I blame him. I am sorry I mentioned it. We could consider shock therapy.

johndoe · #6 06-15-2006, 10:42 AM

Worst song ever? Have you ever heard David Hasselhoff's cover of Hooked on a Feeling? Its gross. But yet hysterical.

Keep in mind this is from 2002...

DrummerDeanna · #7 06-15-2006, 10:51 AM

Worst songs ever? There so SO many to choose from!!

A few that make my list:

Mambo #5 - for some reason this song infuriates me!
Living La Vida Loca and that other single that won't die - Ricky Martin

Bus Stop Baby - no clue who that's by but I hate it.

Anything that has ever come out of Mariah Carey's mouth -I'd rather be set on fire while listening to nervous cats hop around on chalk boards.

irishgrl · #8 06-15-2006, 10:55 AM

I'd like to get to know you by the Little Rascals

I also hate Electric Avenue, Muskrat Love, and Lovin you is easy cuz you're beautiful. ACK!

cliffdweller · #9 06-15-2006, 10:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Mambo #5 - for some reason this song infuriates me!

I LOATHE that song.

I'm listening to the radio right now and that Hot, Hot, Hot song by Buster Poindexter is on at the moment. That's a pretty bad one too.

carrie721 · #10 06-15-2006, 11:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by johndoe

Worst song ever? Have you ever heard David Hasselhoff's cover of Hooked on a Feeling? Its gross. But yet hysterical.

oh snap! that's ridiculous and great.

DavidMn · #11 06-15-2006, 01:13 PM

You Light Up My Life

trackaghost · #12 06-15-2006, 01:20 PM

I think Lady Marmalade by the Screeching Harpies, as I like to call them, ranks as one of the all-time worst songs.
Plus: anything by James Blunt and Bad Day by Daniel Powter. Fairly new I admit, but I feel my hatred for them will stand the test of time.

cliffdweller · #13 06-15-2006, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by trackaghost

Plus: anything by James Blunt and Bad Day by Daniel Powter.

oh god yes. Hate them both.

DavidMn · #14 06-15-2006, 01:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cliffdweller

oh god yes. Hate them both.

It's the old syndrome of being way overcooked on the radio.

cliffdweller · #15 06-15-2006, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DavidMn

It's the old syndrome of being way overcooked on the radio.

No, I just can't stand them. My distaste for those two goes way beyond them being overplayed on the radio.

by the freaking way, that Daniel Powter guy's song is playing on the radio as we speak!! GAAAAWWWWWWDDDDD!!