dumb sh*t that's happened to you

[all the same]

1) I always have weird things in my food in restauraunts. My personal chart toppers are: I was in a high end restaurant with my family enjoying brunch, was sipping my water and for whatever reason, I looked into my glass and noticed tiny little worms swimming in it. Clearly, I nearly died! I called the server over and asked her about it and she said "Ohhh, sorry, I gave you plant water by mistake! Let me get you a new glass" SWEAR TO GOD, THIS HAPPENED!

2) I has sand in wonton soup once. How it got in there, who knows?!!!

3) I was eating emimame beans (i know I'm spelling it wrong). For those of you who don't eat sushi, they are soy beans still in the pod. They used to be delicious to me... but you just wait to hear why they're not anymore! I was eating edimame in a martini bar and popped one in, set the shell down in the bowl and noticed a small dark bit on it. I thought nothing of it but picked it up assuming it would be a slightly discoloured bit of bean or something. Turns out it was a squished maggot! Why was it squished? Because the rest of it had been swallowed with the damn BEANS!!! AHHHHH!!!!! I still haven't recovered from this

4) I sat on gum on the train back from an Emmylou Harris concert

5) AND THE SHOWSTOPPER!!! I live in a building with two apartments on the top floor. I share a bathroom with another tenant that is accessible between both apartments in the hallway. This seems gross, but I'm used to it and see it as no big deal anymore. One night, I came home at around 10:00 and noticed someone was in the bathtub. I should preface this by saying I live in a colourful neighborhood to say the least. I'm downtown, kinda in a sketchy but not scary area. Lots of crack addicts, prostitutes and such, but it's not as bad as it sounds! HAH! Okay, back to the story, I assumed it was the other tenant, Dave, in the bathroom but he worked late as a chef. So, I listened at the door and though, "Hmmm... this doesn't sound like Dave". Just to make sure, I called his restaurant and asked if he was there. The hostess said yes and asked if I wanted to talk to him. I said no, I just wanted to know he was there. So, I immediately called 911 'cause clearly some random guy from the street got into the building and was in my tub! GOD! So, the police came and carted him away. He was a young guy, early 20s. I made sure he didn't see me. Who knows if he would come back. I went into the bathroom after he left. HE TOTALLY TRASHED IT! Garbage everywhere. Soap everywhere. Little piles of kleenex everywhere! I don't want to know what was in them! AHHHH!!! Anyway, I put on the rubber gloves, held my breath, filled a bucket with bleach and started cleaning. There is a lock on the door to the bathroom, but we never used to lock it 'cause who's gonna come up and use our washroom. Now we know! We lock it every time we use it now! CAN YOU BELIEVE HOW RIDICULOUS THAT STORY IS???!!!

Anyone else care to share?

[GateandGarden]

Wow, I don't have any of those types of stories....well I have some that aren't really amusing like yours.

Okay, the thing about the worms in your "plant water" that obviously wasn't supposed to be plant water made me laugh really hard. Thank you for that!

And that guy using your bathtub? That is scary. How crazy!

[Neal]

One of my weirdest/scariest/funniest experiences happened several months ago (March, April?)

I was coming home from a bar at about 230-3am and fumbling in the pitch dark for my keys (there's only one streetlight on my whole friggin' block). Then from over my shoulder a light comes on and I turn around to see what I assumed was a homeless guy holding a flashlight . He tells me I looked like I needed a hand, and I say thanks. Not knowing what the hell else I'm supposed to say . So I get the door open and try to squeeze in and shut it behind me, but he puts his foot in the door and asks to use the phone. I tell him I don't have one but I'll give him change for the pay phone at the Chevron station down the street. He then tells me that I'm a liar because he saw me talking on my cell when I pulled in the driveway!
Now I'm starting to freak out a little and tell him he has to get out of here before the neighbors call the cops, to which he says "F*ck your neighbors!"

I'm still in front of the door and he's still got his foot in it. I was pretty buzzed and not thinking as well as I should have so I open the door the rest of the way and yell "What the f*ck do you want from me!?". I'm thinking I should make noise so that hopefully someone will look out the window before he shoots/stabs/beats me to a bloody pulp. As I'm saying this I reach over and turn on the patio lights. The "homeless" guy was actually my roommate who had just gotten home from his boyfriends . If I wasn't so drunk, I'd have noticed his car parked beside mine, and for that matter, his voice! Apparently he thought he'd have a laugh at my expense. So he did. I wasn't able to laugh at it for several days, considering I almost pissed my pants...

[amber]

those are good stories. The bean one is too gross, though.
I think stuff like this happens to me a lot, but I'm not sure.
As I relayed in the dinner thread, today I got the BART police called on me....

[amber]

Originally Posted by Neal

One of my weirdest/scariest/funniest experiences happened several months ago (March, April?)

I was coming home from a bar at about 230-3am and fumbling in the pitch dark for my keys (there's only one streetlight on my whole friggin' block). Then from over my shoulder a light comes on and I turn around to see what I assumed was a homeless guy holding a flashlight . He tells me I looked like I needed a hand, and I say thanks. Not knowing what the hell else I'm supposed to say . So I get the door open and try to squeeze in and shut it behind me, but he puts his foot in the door and asks to use the phone. I tell him I don't have one but I'll give him change for the pay phone at the Chevron station down the street. He then tells me that I'm a liar because he saw me talking on my cell when I pulled in the driveway!
Now I'm starting to freak out a little and tell him he has to get out of here before the neighbors call the cops, to which he says "F*ck your neighbors!"

I'm still in front of the door and he's still got his foot in it. I was pretty buzzed and not thinking as well as I should have so I open the door the rest of the way and yell "What the f*ck do you want from me!?". I'm thinking I should make noise so that hopefully someone will look out the window before he shoots/stabs/beats me to a bloody pulp. As I'm saying this I reach over and turn on the patio lights. The "homeless" guy was actually my roommate who had just gotten home from his boyfriends . If I wasn't so drunk, I'd have noticed his car parked beside mine, and for that matter, his voice! Apparently he thought he'd have a laugh at my expense. So he did. I wasn't able to laugh at it for several days, considering I almost pissed my pants...

[Serendipity]

Originally Posted by Neal

One of my weirdest/scariest/funniest experiences happened several months ago (March, April?)

I was coming home from a bar at about 230-3am and fumbling in the pitch dark for my keys (there's only one streetlight on my whole friggin' block). Then from over my shoulder a light comes on and I turn around to see what I assumed was a homeless guy holding a flashlight . He tells me I looked like I needed a hand, and I say thanks. Not knowing what the hell else I'm supposed to say . So I get the door open and try to squeeze in and shut it behind me, but he puts his foot in the door and asks to use the phone. I tell him I don't have one but I'll give him change for the pay phone at the Chevron station down the street. He then tells me that I'm a liar because he saw me talking on my cell when I pulled in the driveway!
Now I'm starting to freak out a little and tell him he has to get out of here before the neighbors call the cops, to which he says "F*ck your neighbors!"

I'm still in front of the door and he's still got his foot in it. I was pretty buzzed and not thinking as well as I should have so I open the door the rest of the way and yell "What the f*ck do you want from me!?". I'm thinking I should make noise so that hopefully someone will look out the window before he shoots/stabs/beats me to a bloody pulp. As I'm saying this I reach over and turn on the patio lights. The "homeless" guy was actually my roommate who had just gotten home from his boyfriends . If I wasn't so drunk, I'd have noticed his car parked beside mine, and for that matter, his voice! Apparently he thought he'd have a laugh at my expense. So he did. I wasn't able to laugh at it for several days, considering I almost pissed my pants...

I'm sorry cos that must have been really scary at the time, but you just gave the best laugh I've had all day!!!

[DrummerDeanna]

Whoa - crazy stories...

Well once while dining with my family at a restaurant the waitress spilled an ENTIRE pitcher of ice water down my head and back. I was pissed - asked for a free dinner -they offered my a stupid restaurant t-shirt

I was driving home late one night and I was in on a road that has been reduced to two lanes because of construction. I saw some flashing police lights ahead etc - didn't really think anything of it - until I realized it was a high-speed chase- and the guy they were chasing veered into MY lane - SO DID THE COPS!!! I couldnt' go anywhere - because the cars had come on the only path to the other lane - there was a gaping hole on one side of - a wall on the other...

SO I was FREAKED out - I got as close to the wall as I possibly could - and miraculously the others were able to fit by me -a nd they sped by without killing me.

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by Neal

One of my weirdest/scariest/funniest experiences happened several months ago (March, April?)

I was coming home from a bar at about 230-3am and fumbling in the pitch dark for my keys (there's only one streetlight on my whole friggin' block). Then from over my shoulder a light comes on and I turn around to see what I assumed was a homeless guy holding a flashlight . He tells me I looked like I needed a hand, and I say thanks. Not knowing what the hell else I'm supposed to say . So I get the door open and try to squeeze in and shut it behind me, but he puts his foot in the door and asks to use the phone. I tell him I don't have one but I'll give him change for the pay phone at the Chevron station down the street. He then tells me that I'm a liar because he saw me talking on my cell when I pulled in the driveway!
Now I'm starting to freak out a little and tell him he has to get out of here before the neighbors call the cops, to which he says "F*ck your neighbors!"

I'm still in front of the door and he's still got his foot in it. I was pretty buzzed and not thinking as well as I should have so I open the door the rest of the way and yell "What the f*ck do you want from me!?". I'm thinking I should make noise so that hopefully someone will look out the window before he shoots/stabs/beats me to a bloody pulp. As I'm saying this I reach over and turn on the patio lights. The "homeless" guy was actually my roommate who had just gotten home from his boyfriends . If I wasn't so drunk, I'd have noticed his car parked beside mine, and for that matter, his voice! Apparently he thought he'd have a laugh at my expense. So he did. I wasn't able to laugh at it for several days, considering I almost pissed my pants...

I would have knocked him upside his head and then bitched him out -- and he would have soooooo deserved that.

[macfanken]

Someone threw a rock through my windshield while I was driving about 50 mph... shattered my windshield. I had glass everywhere... in my mouth, hair, stuck to my face... luckily nothing in my eyes. It shook me up pretty good.

[Neal]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

I would have knocked him upside his head and then bitched him out -- and he would have soooooo deserved that.

I was just relieved that I wasn't going to have to make any attempts at self defense. All the biting, scratching, hair pulling... NOT pretty!

[sara1998]

Originally Posted by macfanken

Someone threw a rock through my windshield while I was driving about 50 mph... shattered my windshield. I had glass everywhere... in my mouth, hair, stuck to my face... luckily nothing in my eyes. It shook me up pretty good.

You're lucky that rock didn't hit you. It could have been a catastrophe.

[Neal]

Originally Posted by macfanken

Someone threw a rock through my windshield while I was driving about 50 mph... shattered my windshield. I had glass everywhere... in my mouth, hair, stuck to my face... luckily nothing in my eyes. It shook me up pretty good.

Now that's scary! Was this just some random asshole on the side of the road?

[strandinthewind]

Originally Posted by Neal

I was just relieved that I wasn't going to have to make any attempts at self defense. All the biting, scratching, hair pulling... NOT pretty!

Might I suggest a kick in the nads if you are ever in that situation for real. Then, when they bend over in pain, grap the nape of the neck and pull them to the floor as you are running past them.

[macfanken]

Originally Posted by Neal

Now that's scary! Was this just some random asshole on the side of the road?

Yeah, the cops never got him. I think it came from a hill that overlooks the road.

[Neal]

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

Might I suggest a kick in the nads if you are ever in that situation for real. Then, when they bend over in pain, grap the nape of the neck and pull them to the floor as you are running past them.

Wow, I'll keep that in mind. Knowing me, I'd probably go back and see if they were ok though...