What's the stupidest thing anybody has said to you?

[DrummerDeanna]

the other night I was shoping with these guys (my first mistake ) and there was this big sale on men's sweaters...but they were way too big for me and I said, 'Urg - stupid man sweaters..."

So one of the guys with me said, 'what's the difference between man sweaters and regular sweaters..." I just said, "that wasn't obvious from the title? MAN sweaters....men wear them...they are made for men..." dumb ass

[wondergirl9847]

Originally Posted by chiliD

Damn! You beat me to it...as I was reading through this thread, it took all the way until post #26 before somebody quoted Engvall. I was ready after just about every post.

I love Bill! That crazy, Galvestonian. My favorite skit on Blue Collar TV is the one where they are kids and in the back seat..."Mom, I can see Dooley's weiner." and then the mom tells Bill to put it back in his pants. The look on his face...priceless. LMAO!!

[Jessica Leigh]

oh god.... i'm a waitress... you'd never believe some of the stupid people i encounter and the things that they say....

last night-

Me: And what would you like, sir?
Stupid guy: i don't know, how about just a cheeseburger
Me: ok and what kind of cheese would you like?
Stupid guy: no cheese
Me: uh, you want a cheeseburger no cheese?
Stupid guy: yeah
Me: so you want a hamburger?
Stupid guy: ok

or the night before last-

Stupid Guy: what's this? (pointing to item on the menu) a tuna sandwich?
Me: yes sir
Stupid guy: like a tuna steak?
Me: no, like tuna salad
Stupid guy: no i don't want a salad i'm talking about the sandwich
Me: yes, it's a sandwich made of tuna salad
Stupid guy: not a tuna steak?
Me: no, we don't have tuna steaks
Stupid guy: how do you mean it's a tuna salad?
Me: (very annoyed at this point) you know, you open a can, dump the tuna out and mix it with mayo and other things?
Stupid guy: (looking very confused) well i'd like a tuna steak
Me: i'm sorry we don't have those (didn't i just say that?)
Stupid guy: I'd like a turkeyburger cooked medium, please
Me: (not believing what i just heard) I beg your pardon?
Stupid guy: TURKEY BURGER MEDIUM!!
Me: I'm sorry sir but all poultry is cooked well done... otherwise you could get very sick.
Stupid guy: oh.


seriously.... i hope that man doesn't cook for himself at home and go "hmmm i'd like my chicken breast medium rare tonight" who does NOT know that poultry must be cooked well done?

oh oh oh.... or how about this one.... dude comes in and says his son's going to be meeting him in a few minutes... it's late, we're a bar only after 9 pm and everyone in the building must be 21 or over... so i tell this to the guy and ask how old his son is and he goes "uhh about 21?" ABOUT 21? i laugh and go "ok when he gets here i'll see his id" and he throws a fit and goes "god can't a guy just have some dinner?" so he calls his kid and then tells me proudly "my son's on his way with his id" i'm thinking "oh riiiiiight... let's see this fake" i'm pretty confident in my ability to spot fake ids so i laugh it off and wait for the kid to show up... he proudly gives me an id and the very first security feature that i look for is incorrect so i laugh and go skipping across the restaurant to the manager on duty so he can confiscate the id and kick them out...

seriously though... about 21? your parents should know your age... make sure they know what your fake id says when you go out with them...

[Moony]

Just yesterday my cousin, who I thought had some measure of intelligence, burst out with this gem:

"I voted for Bush, because, you know, with the war and everything we shouldn't change presidents."

Me: "Are you f*ckin kidding me?!"

What a dumbass.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Jessica Leigh

oh god.... i'm a waitress... you'd never believe some of the stupid people i encounter and the things that they say....

last night-

Me: And what would you like, sir?
Stupid guy: i don't know, how about just a cheeseburger
Me: ok and what kind of cheese would you like?
Stupid guy: no cheese
Me: uh, you want a cheeseburger no cheese?
Stupid guy: yeah
Me: so you want a hamburger?
Stupid guy: ok

or the night before last-

Stupid Guy: what's this? (pointing to item on the menu) a tuna sandwich?
Me: yes sir
Stupid guy: like a tuna steak?
Me: no, like tuna salad
Stupid guy: no i don't want a salad i'm talking about the sandwich
Me: yes, it's a sandwich made of tuna salad
Stupid guy: not a tuna steak?
Me: no, we don't have tuna steaks
Stupid guy: how do you mean it's a tuna salad?
Me: (very annoyed at this point) you know, you open a can, dump the tuna out and mix it with mayo and other things?
Stupid guy: (looking very confused) well i'd like a tuna steak
Me: i'm sorry we don't have those (didn't i just say that?)
Stupid guy: I'd like a turkeyburger cooked medium, please
Me: (not believing what i just heard) I beg your pardon?
Stupid guy: TURKEY BURGER MEDIUM!!
Me: I'm sorry sir but all poultry is cooked well done... otherwise you could get very sick.
Stupid guy: oh.


seriously.... i hope that man doesn't cook for himself at home and go "hmmm i'd like my chicken breast medium rare tonight" who does NOT know that poultry must be cooked well done?

oh oh oh.... or how about this one.... dude comes in and says his son's going to be meeting him in a few minutes... it's late, we're a bar only after 9 pm and everyone in the building must be 21 or over... so i tell this to the guy and ask how old his son is and he goes "uhh about 21?" ABOUT 21? i laugh and go "ok when he gets here i'll see his id" and he throws a fit and goes "god can't a guy just have some dinner?" so he calls his kid and then tells me proudly "my son's on his way with his id" i'm thinking "oh riiiiiight... let's see this fake" i'm pretty confident in my ability to spot fake ids so i laugh it off and wait for the kid to show up... he proudly gives me an id and the very first security feature that i look for is incorrect so i laugh and go skipping across the restaurant to the manager on duty so he can confiscate the id and kick them out...

seriously though... about 21? your parents should know your age... make sure they know what your fake id says when you go out with them...

isn't food service GREAT? well, the tips are usually good...

[SuzeQuze]

During the Sox/Yankees playoffs I was out with my roommate watching game 7. This guy goes, "So you girls like baseball?" I just gave him a look like, "Well, duh."

[amber]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

During the Sox/Yankees playoffs I was out with my roommate watching game 7. This guy goes, "So you girls like baseball?" I just gave him a look like, "Well, duh."

hate that so much. "so, reading a book, huh?" "so, skating, huh?" "It sure is hot/cold out, huh?"

[madformac]

Originally Posted by amber

hate that so much. "so, reading a book, huh?" "so, skating, huh?" "It sure is hot/cold out, huh?"

So Amber, I guess you post on this site huh?

[amber]

Originally Posted by madformac

So Amber, I guess you post on this site huh?

bastard!

[madformac]

Originally Posted by amber

bastard!

Guess you think I'm a bastard huh?




Actually it's not just guys that do it........ Girls do it too... When they really try to seem interested in something they don't understand (come on admit it!) that we do. Like obsessions with cars, engines and all that jazz.

"Oh that's really interesting.. BUT why don't we do this instead......"

[amber]

Originally Posted by madformac

Guess you think I'm a bastard huh?




Actually it's not just guys that do it........ Girls do it too... When they really try to seem interested in something they don't understand (come on admit it!) that we do. Like obsessions with cars, engines and all that jazz.

"Oh that's really interesting.. BUT why don't we do this instead......"

GMFAO (giggled MFAO)
Of course girls say stupid ****...there, i admitted it.

[Jessica Leigh]

Originally Posted by amber

isn't food service GREAT? well, the tips are usually good...

omg it's just lovely... i work in a sports bar and i do quite well... much better than when i did fine dining or casual fine....

but get this... last night... F*CKERS.... i totally took care of this group of people... just having wings and beer their bill got to over $60... then a girl came to join them and asked for a capt & coke... i ask for her ID and she says she doesn't have it on her... ok no drinks for you... well one of the guys she was with was going to the bar and getting her drinks and pouring them in her soda glass... i suspect this since her coke never needs a refill and she keeps drinking out of it... but her ice is getting all melted... sooooo hehehehe evil grin here... i tell the manager and he goes over with me while i bring her a brand new coke with fresh ice... nice thing to do right? well i go to switch out the old watered down looking coke for a new coke with new ice and the girl flips out

"NO YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT!!! DON'T TAKE MY COKE!"
Me: oh i was just bringing you a new one, it looked like your ice melted

so she argued and flipped out and the manager just went "ok i know there's rum in there" etc etc... the people lie to us yelling at us blah blah blah... so the bartender tastes a sample of it, i taste a sample of it and the manager tastes a sample of it... yep... that's one GIANT captain and coke...

so we kick them out.... mind you, the guys had been in there for 4 hours or more... they were totally cool, joking around with me... inviting me to drink with them etc... so i bring them their bill and it's $62.30 and i said "sorry guys the manager saw what you were doing" totally blaming rules on the situation and making it seem like it's not my fault hoping they would still tip me decently... they give me their money and tell me to keep the change... $65 even... yeah... $2.70 for me. i was so mad... soooo mad... i went back up to them and faced them with their ****tiness

me: guys i just want to let you know that it's very unfair of you to treat me so poorly when i took care of you all night and you put me in a position to lose my job and get a $1,000 fine
stupid guy: how much did you give her dude?
Me: $2.70 on $62.30
gave them a mean glare and walked away
when i came back to clean the table after they had left there was another 14 cents on the table. thanks guys...

i still did well... made almost 30% of my sales anyway... but how terrible was that? i live in a state where servers make $2.13/hour so my tips are my whole income... my wages just pay my taxes so when i get a paycheck it says something like "$9.12" or '$0.18" or "this is not a check" cause my whole check was taken for taxes... i've never talked to a customer about a tip before... was that wrong of me?

[estranged4life]

question I have been asked:

"Who did you vote for?"

Yeah, A stupid question in my books...Cause I voted in the "minority" for Oklahomans, Especially those here in this "Jerusalem of Hypocrisy"!

Brian j.

[estranged4life]

Originally Posted by Jessica Leigh

omg it's just lovely... i work in a sports bar and i do quite well... much better than when i did fine dining or casual fine....

but get this... last night... F*CKERS.... i totally took care of this group of people... just having wings and beer their bill got to over $60... then a girl came to join them and asked for a capt & coke... i ask for her ID and she says she doesn't have it on her... ok no drinks for you... well one of the guys she was with was going to the bar and getting her drinks and pouring them in her soda glass... i suspect this since her coke never needs a refill and she keeps drinking out of it... but her ice is getting all melted... sooooo hehehehe evil grin here... i tell the manager and he goes over with me while i bring her a brand new coke with fresh ice... nice thing to do right? well i go to switch out the old watered down looking coke for a new coke with new ice and the girl flips out

"NO YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT!!! DON'T TAKE MY COKE!"
Me: oh i was just bringing you a new one, it looked like your ice melted

so she argued and flipped out and the manager just went "ok i know there's rum in there" etc etc... the people lie to us yelling at us blah blah blah... so the bartender tastes a sample of it, i taste a sample of it and the manager tastes a sample of it... yep... that's one GIANT captain and coke...

so we kick them out.... mind you, the guys had been in there for 4 hours or more... they were totally cool, joking around with me... inviting me to drink with them etc... so i bring them their bill and it's $62.30 and i said "sorry guys the manager saw what you were doing" totally blaming rules on the situation and making it seem like it's not my fault hoping they would still tip me decently... they give me their money and tell me to keep the change... $65 even... yeah... $2.70 for me. i was so mad... soooo mad... i went back up to them and faced them with their ****tiness

me: guys i just want to let you know that it's very unfair of you to treat me so poorly when i took care of you all night and you put me in a position to lose my job and get a $1,000 fine
stupid guy: how much did you give her dude?
Me: $2.70 on $62.30
gave them a mean glare and walked away
when i came back to clean the table after they had left there was another 14 cents on the table. thanks guys...

i still did well... made almost 30% of my sales anyway... but how terrible was that? i live in a state where servers make $2.13/hour so my tips are my whole income... my wages just pay my taxes so when i get a paycheck it says something like "$9.12" or '$0.18" or "this is not a check" cause my whole check was taken for taxes... i've never talked to a customer about a tip before... was that wrong of me?

about these "caring outstanding citizens" is the ol' classic "Big Spender".

Damn, We leave tips MUCH larger than that for waiters/waitresses when we only spend about $20 for dinner...The closer to the holidays the more we leave.

God, I hope it didnt "bankrupt" 'em adding that extra $.14, I mean the economy is bad but gawd-damn!!!!

Brian j.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Jessica Leigh

omg it's just lovely... i work in a sports bar and i do quite well... much better than when i did fine dining or casual fine....

but get this... last night... F*CKERS.... i totally took care of this group of people... just having wings and beer their bill got to over $60... then a girl came to join them and asked for a capt & coke... i ask for her ID and she says she doesn't have it on her... ok no drinks for you... well one of the guys she was with was going to the bar and getting her drinks and pouring them in her soda glass... i suspect this since her coke never needs a refill and she keeps drinking out of it... but her ice is getting all melted... sooooo hehehehe evil grin here... i tell the manager and he goes over with me while i bring her a brand new coke with fresh ice... nice thing to do right? well i go to switch out the old watered down looking coke for a new coke with new ice and the girl flips out

"NO YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT!!! DON'T TAKE MY COKE!"
Me: oh i was just bringing you a new one, it looked like your ice melted

so she argued and flipped out and the manager just went "ok i know there's rum in there" etc etc... the people lie to us yelling at us blah blah blah... so the bartender tastes a sample of it, i taste a sample of it and the manager tastes a sample of it... yep... that's one GIANT captain and coke...

so we kick them out.... mind you, the guys had been in there for 4 hours or more... they were totally cool, joking around with me... inviting me to drink with them etc... so i bring them their bill and it's $62.30 and i said "sorry guys the manager saw what you were doing" totally blaming rules on the situation and making it seem like it's not my fault hoping they would still tip me decently... they give me their money and tell me to keep the change... $65 even... yeah... $2.70 for me. i was so mad... soooo mad... i went back up to them and faced them with their ****tiness

me: guys i just want to let you know that it's very unfair of you to treat me so poorly when i took care of you all night and you put me in a position to lose my job and get a $1,000 fine
stupid guy: how much did you give her dude?
Me: $2.70 on $62.30
gave them a mean glare and walked away
when i came back to clean the table after they had left there was another 14 cents on the table. thanks guys...

i still did well... made almost 30% of my sales anyway... but how terrible was that? i live in a state where servers make $2.13/hour so my tips are my whole income... my wages just pay my taxes so when i get a paycheck it says something like "$9.12" or '$0.18" or "this is not a check" cause my whole check was taken for taxes... i've never talked to a customer about a tip before... was that wrong of me?

Naw, you werent' wrong. My friends work in bars/restaurants, and this happens to them sometimes. Sometimes they say something. sometimes, also, random people steal their tips. That's neat. Wow, your min. wage is low! THat sucks. A friend of mine just started bartending in a hotel in San Francisco, she quit berkeley, because in SF the min. wage is $8.25!