Would you be mad?

[skcin]

Hubby & I got into it yesterday. When Ry, Curtis & I went to the Pittsburgh show, Ry & I slept in the same bed. For those of you that don't know, he's gay & we've been friends for about 10 years. There were only 2 beds & 3 people, so we shared.

So, I had friend over (including Ry) the other night & we were laughing about how at home I have a husband to kick me in our sleep & in Pitts I had a gay boyfirend kicking me.

The next day, hubby told me that he thought that it was wrong that I slept in the same bed with Ryan & that it had better not ever happen again. I said I didn't think there was any difference with sharing a bed with my gay male friend or my straight female friends if there's not enough beds. I told him if it upset him that much, it wouldn't happen again. I also told him that if he finds a lesbian friend, he can sleep in the same bed as her & then we'll be even.

But I still don't get it - we slept on opposite ends of the bed back to back. It's not like we were spooning or anything. What do you guys think? Apparently if this situation comes up again, I'll be sleeping in the tub.

[eclipse]

Hi Paula
I think my husband would react the same way...
Is it right? No.
But guys just have this "Thing" about gay men. I can understand how it would make your husband uncomfortable.
Remember, as girls...we used to sleep over our friends house and share a bed and think nothing of it- So I am sure you look at Curtis the same way- (No offense meant C- ), but like you said you wouuld think nothing of sharing the bed with a girlfriend..(Me either. I went out to California last year to visit my best friend and we stayed in luxury hotels all up the coast of Ca. during our adventures, some only had 1 bed-no big deal, we shared)...
Men, when they are boys, don't really "do" sleepovers and they don't share the bed with their boyfriends...know what I mean?
So, I think that to your husband this must seem very strange-

I am sure if my husband were put into a situation where he was with another straight guy and there were only 1 bed available he would say- "Hey, no problem, I'll take the floor" (and mean it!!). It's just a guy thing- I think

Just a thought...
~~eclipse~~

[DrummerDeanna]

Actually I would be a bit mad if it were the other way around.

BUT I tend to be a jealous person, and I've been working on that so I don't know.

I mean I don't think there was anything wrong with you sleeping with your gay friends, but if the shoe were on the other foot would it really not bother you for your husband to sleep in the same bed with a lesbian?

I don't know - some people really aren't bothered by stuff like that - but some are. Either way - sucks that you and your hubby had a row over it.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

Actually I would be a bit mad if it were the other way around.

BUT I tend to be a jealous person, and I've been working on that so I don't know.

I mean I don't think there was anything wrong with you sleeping with your gay friends, but if the shoe were on the other foot would it really not bother you for your husband to sleep in the same bed with a lesbian?

I don't know - some people really aren't bothered by stuff like that - but some are. Either way - sucks that you and your hubby had a row over it.

I've been thinking about that - in theory, I really don't think I'd get upset if he slept in the same bed as a gay chick. Of course, in reality, if said gay chick is a hot blond with huge boobs, I'm sure I'd feel differently whether it was warranted or not.

We're all good, it's blown over, I guess I was just a little shocked at his reaction. He rarely gets mad about stuff. I apologized & made the solemn vow never to make a gay man my bed buddy again. Sorry Curty, but our future looks bleak.

[DrummerDeanna]

Originally Posted by skcin

I've been thinking about that - in theory, I really don't think I'd get upset if he slept in the same bed as a gay chick. Of course, in reality, if said gay chick is a hot blond with huge boobs, I'm sure I'd feel differently whether it was warranted or not.

We're all good, it's blown over, I guess I was just a little shocked at his reaction. He rarely gets mad about stuff. I apologized & made the solemn vow never to make a gay man my bed buddy again. Sorry Curty, but our future looks bleak.

But if she had a mullet, sleeveless flannel shirt and biker boots it would be as big a deal, right? Lol....kidding.

[skcin]

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

But if she had a mullet, sleeveless flannel shirt and biker boots it would be as big a deal, right? Lol....kidding.

Exaaactly.

[GardenStateGirlie]

Apparently your husband has never seen an episode of Will & Grace Gay men are -- gay. Aside from having breast envy and being the greatest shopping partner and one of the best listeners you will ever have in your life, they have zero sexual attraction to you. I don't get what the big deal is but then again, i'm not married Oh, and your spot on that if it was some lipstick lesbian with huge breasts who was beautiful, he'd probably be like, "that's fine." Typical male reaction

[GypsySorcerer]

Last summer, my best friend, who is gay, shared my bed when he visited. He offered to sleep on the couch, but I told him it was ridiculous since I have a queen-sized bed. We also roomed together for a year in college, though we had separate bedrooms. I didn't think it was a big deal.

But one night when he was here, my ex-boyfriend called and I said something about Eric being in bed next to me. Now, he knows Eric and likes him, but he still reacted strangely.

Anyway, I'm glad you're all good.

[The Tower]

I slept in the same bed with one of my really good friends, who happens to be a bisexual woman. My partner didn't have an issue with it.

Jealousy is weird. I don't get it. Straight guys are even more weird when it comes to their outlook on gay men. I think it's interesting how insecurity can worm its way out into the open in certain situations.

The internet psychiatrist in me suspects that your husband envies your gay boyfriend because perhaps your gay boyfriend provides you something that he cannot.

[darklinensuit]

Originally Posted by skcin

Of course, in reality, if said gay chick is a hot blond with huge boobs, I'm sure I'd feel differently whether it was warranted or not .

Of course, he might want you in the bed at the same time.

I am just about the least jealous person there is. I wouldn't be upset if I knew the gay guy, but if I didn't there might be the sneaking suspicion that this guy is not have any loyalty to a friendship with me & might be pretending to be gay to get into bed with my girlfriend.

In any event, you are wise to have told your husband it won't happen again if for no other reason than that it upsets him.

- Jake

[skcin]

Originally Posted by darklinensuit

I wouldn't be upset if I knew the gay guy, but if I didn't there might be the sneaking suspicion that this guy is not have any loyalty to a friendship with me & might be pretending to be gay to get into bed with my girlfriend.

- Jake

That's why I didn't up in bed with Curtis. Of course, if he ever actually meets Curtis, there will be no suspicion. Love ya Curty, ya big Mo!

[skcin]

Yeah, that sounds right. He didn't freak out or anything, but I was upset because I really don't think I did anything wrong. If I had any clue he would react this way, I would have asked for a cot or something.

Boys.

[eclipse]

So.........

Live and learn.....right? Next time you'll know

and I agree-boys

[mylittledemon]

Originally Posted by skcin

Hubby & I got into it yesterday. When Ry, Curtis & I went to the Pittsburgh show, Ry & I slept in the same bed. For those of you that don't know, he's gay & we've been friends for about 10 years. There were only 2 beds & 3 people, so we shared.

So, I had friend over (including Ry) the other night & we were laughing about how at home I have a husband to kick me in our sleep & in Pitts I had a gay boyfirend kicking me.

The next day, hubby told me that he thought that it was wrong that I slept in the same bed with Ryan & that it had better not ever happen again. I said I didn't think there was any difference with sharing a bed with my gay male friend or my straight female friends if there's not enough beds. I told him if it upset him that much, it wouldn't happen again. I also told him that if he finds a lesbian friend, he can sleep in the same bed as her & then we'll be even.

But I still don't get it - we slept on opposite ends of the bed back to back. It's not like we were spooning or anything. What do you guys think? Apparently if this situation comes up again, I'll be sleeping in the tub.

Hmm...thats a tough one. I dont want to offend, but I would *think* that you would have known that would have bothered your husband had he found out about it, and therefore, not slept in the bed with Ry. BUT...on the other hand, if there was no doubt in your mind about anything remotely sexual occuring...then I guess you have a point as well. I, to be on the safe side, would have told my husband about it first thing to avoid him getting pissed later. Because now that he finds out after the fact, he's going to feel he can't trust you now (even if he says he does.)

[mylittledemon]

So, to answer your question...yes I probably would be mad. Most guys tend to get protective and jealous in those situations, and I'm one of them. But, I'd probably forgive you after you let me touch your boobies, and then maybe have some sweaty pig-sex. ROFL!