The Fleetwood Mac Show 2

[golddustdragon]

ANNOUNCER-(with pompous voice) Today on “The Fleetwood Mac Show”. Vice President Dick Cheney, and a super sized taser gun. Plus, the band will talk over the Iraq war, now in it’s second year. (“Don’t stop” begins) And now please welcome, Fleetwood Mac.
(“Don’t stop” plays. Mick, Lindsey, Stevie and John come out in that order. They sit down. Music stops)
MICK-Hello and welcome to “Fleetwood Mac show”
(applause)
MICK-(looking at John) Don’t even think about it.
JOHN-(grumbles)
LINDSEY-Ladies and gentlemen, although we started off on the wrong foot, the folks at CNN have been kind enough to give us a 3 year contract.
STEVIE-So, we’re on for the long run.
LINDSEY-I…
(applause)
LINDSEY-Gosh, I hate that song.
JOHN-Don’t put your bleeding eggs in one basket. Remember how fast Warner dropped us after Say you Will fell through the cracks without making a damn sound.
MICK-We didn’t get dropped, did we?
JOHN-Well they fricking transferred us to CNN, which is owned by Time Warner.
MICK-Now Johnny, remember we did this on our own will.
JOHN-Speaking of which, I don’t even have one left. It’s nonexistent.
LINDSEY-Mine too.
MICK-So’s mine. But I digress. Our talking point today is the Iraq war. It has been 2 years and 1500 bodies. How do you think it’s been going?
LINDSEY-There’s always a silver lining in a gray cloud.
STEVIE-Rather a silver spring
(laughter)
STEVIE-I mean, wasn’t it grand to see those Iraqis holding up their purple fingers. Democracy!
(applause)
LINDSEY-I must admit, even though I’ve been against the war, that relieved me a bit. All those deaths weren’t all in vain.
JOHN-But what about the WMDs?
LINDSEY-Yeah, that was bad, but that doesn’t really matter now.
MICK-The ends justify the means. Works every time.
JOHN-Hey, I thought I was the republican here.
STEVIE-I got this letter from a soldier currently stationed there. He saw the toppling of Saddam’s statue and even had a hand in capturing that rotten, no-good…
JOHN-If he was rotten, then explain Abu Ghraib.
LINDSEY-Dude, stop being a downer. Debbie downer.
STEVIE-That Saturday Night Live stuff is funny.
JOHN-(to the audience) My fellow sods. Put away your blinders and your loyalty oaths for a moment and just look at those three. All that cocaine. Does no good. This might explain our president. And my goodness! I’m the republican here, yet I’m acting like a so-called bleeding heart liberal. If Democrats and Republicans are one and the bloody same these days, I fear for diversity in this wonderful country. If I wanted to become a citizen of a one-sided country, I would have taken a trip back to Nazi Germany.
MICK-(acting like a zombie) He’s being a traitor. Seize him. (normal self) Just kidding. Now let’s welcome our guest, Vice President Dick Cheney.
(massive applause as Cheney comes out. He sits down. Applause continues)
MICK-Welcome to our show…
(applause and cheering still)
MICK-Um, Mr. Vice President…
(applause and cheering)
JOHN-(shakes his head)
LINDSEY-Like, whoa!
STEVIE-You really love the man.
(applause and cheering)
JOHN-Oh stop now. Stop, stop, STOP!!
(applause and cheering suddenly deceases)
JOHN-(stands up and puts his hand on his heart, then looks around) Bible anyone?
CHENEY-I got a pocket one. (takes out from jacket)
JOHN-(bangs his head with it, then holds it in his left hand) Music, Ellen.
(martial music plays)
JOHN-I, John Graham McVie, promise with the mighty hand to suppress anything that may be wrong. And I do solemnly swear that…
(taser gun is ignited and it shoots a blast at John. He gets hit and then he lays there, almost lifeless)
JOHN-Ha, I’m alive you (beep)! You and your neo con fascists can lick my…
CHENEY-(interjecting) This show is awful. If I want to be on with sycophants, I’ll go on Fox. Now (gets up) I bid you farewell.
MICK-Wait.
LINDSEY-Bye bye, new house.
STEVIE-Is he dead?
LINDSEY-Bye bye, new studio.
MICK-Mr. Vice President! I apologize! (runs after him)
LINDSEY-Bye bye, college education for the three plus kids I have.
STEVIE-You promised!
JOHN-(lifts his head slightly) I’m John McVie, and I don’t approve this message. (down again)