[MiniLindsey]

Hearing about Lindsey's upcoming show near Philadelphia sparked a very bizarre dream involving that show that I would like to share with you guys. Just as a warning, there is some PG-13 content in the dream. There are also a couple of things that I should point out beforehand without which it may be difficult to understand parts of it.

First of all, I, despite my proficiency on several musical instruments, have absolutely terrible luck with women. I'm 19 years old and finished my freshman year of college last month, and yet I have never had a girlfriend or been on a date or even kissed a woman. On the other hand, as you may already know, Brett Tuggle loves to flirt with women.

So anyway, in this dream I'm going to this show at the Keswick Theatre, and by some fortunate twist of fate a female friend of mine named Jessica who also happens to be extremely attractive had offered to be my date for the show. So the day of the show arrives, and Jessica and I are sitting in the audience watching the show. The band is putting on a great show as always, but I can't help but notice that Brett appears to be repeatedly glancing over at Jessica and smiling. Jessica doesn't seem to notice as she is too enthralled by Lindsey's guitar playing.

After the first full band set is done, Lindsey begins to play Big Love, and everyone in the backing band goes backstage except for Brett, who proceeds to do a stage dive into the audience and walk up to me. As he approaches me, I notice that he has an extremely visible hard-on. It is obvious to me that he is trying to steal my date, but for some reason I am not surprised at all.

So Brett goes, "Hey Mike, I have a proposal for you. You can play all my parts for the rest of the show if you let me hook up with your girl afterwards." Of course this is a no-brainer even when considering my bad luck with women. There are always opportunities for dates out there, but this is a chance to jam with one of my favorite musicians of all time. So I go "Hmm...stay with my date, or jam with a legend? I'll take it!"

But Jessica (who obviously notices the bulge in Brett's pants) interrupts, saying "Hold on a minute, I'm not hooking up with this guy! He's a creep!" As Brett retreats backstage and Lindsey approaches the climax of the song, Jessica continues on, speaking progressively louder until she's eventually screaming at the top of her lungs: "And as for YOU...I did you a favor by lowering my standards significantly because I felt sorry for you, and how do you thank me? By trying to switch places with that creepy keyboard player?! F*** YOU!" She then proceeds to storm out of the venue. Lindsey, obviously noticing this, has stopped playing somewhere in the middle of Jessica's rant. My face is completely red with embarrassment and I am steaming with rage. Lindsey shakes his head and continues where he left off.

I somehow contain myself through the rest of the acoustic set, but as soon as the band comes back, I jump onto the stage and run angrily towards Brett as if to attack him. Before I can make any moves, however, Brett delivers a violent punch to my head that immediately awakens me.