My dear sweet Artemis(Mark), I too know exactly how you feel. I was once terrified to come out of the closet to my friends and my family. The funny thing is, is that they already knew and were just witing for me to come out and say so. I have lost a friend or two over the years because they could not accept me for who I am but in the long run it doesn't really matter. Friends will come and go from your life as you live your life. As for your parents, well that is a whole other story. Some parents may sound anti gay but then will change their way of thinking when they face the fact that their child is gay. Others will react badly. One never knows till they try. Good or bad reaction, it's worth the risk. You will be letting a major burden off your shoulders when you tell your truth.
I am 49 years old and came out to my friends and family at age 15 and came out publicly at age 19. As recently as last year I pretended to be straight around a certain group of gay hating men that I work for and then one day decided to tell them the truth and discovered that they suspected all along and they don't give a fukc that I am gay. In fact I actually get plenty of respect from them even since I admitted what I am.
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