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Originally Posted by LikeAWillow
Thanks, Suze. It's hard to admit it, but I know this is right. How the hell do you teach yourself new patterns, though? Honestly, although I know it sounds stupid, really being honest about what's going on (even if just to a message board), has made me come out of a bit of the denial stage, and I actually feel some real impulse to change it now that I didn't before.......but I don't know if I've ever been attracted to an actually healthy relationship. Is that something you can even learn?
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It requires getting some help. Facing Love Addiction is a good book.
http://www.amazon.com/Facing-Love-Ad...3832852&sr=8-1 There's Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous. A therapist who knows how to treat this can help. Also watch and listen to Dr. Drew, I love that man. If you listen to Loveline most of the calls about relationship and sexual issues boil down to these issues. It's really an issue of not being able to tolerate real intimacy and closeness.
Every time you see the object of your fixation it's like taking a hit. But it's an empty upper that leads to an inevitable downer. Recognizing and admitting the pattern is a great start!