It's probably a trite resolution to make, and we all know how hard these are to actually keep, but I resolve to take care of myself this year. I suffer from depression, and I am not known often to think of myself in any aspect. I look after everybody else; helping them with work where I forget to do my own, buying their food whilst forgetting to eat myself. I just generally treat myself like a third class citizen. But this year I made a huge step in forcing myself to begin counselling sessions, so I can come to terms with and deal with past emotional and physical parental abuse as well as other aspects of my past I otherwise avoid. Because I know well enough that alot of what happened to me growing up as helped mould me into a skittish, nervous, shy and overly worrysome person with absolutely no confidence and self esteem. But I want control over myself, damnit. I want to feel worthy of my skin, meat and bones for once.
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You were the only audience I ever needed. |