Don't be petrified--think of it as an adventure! If you are curious about cut or uncut: give it a google and get the visual (I don't mean porn-plenty of images online).An American friend of mine dated/married a Briton and the first time they were intimate she thought something was wrong with him--she managed to play it off and not scream but she was confused until a friend set her straight. I spent most of my life in the UK / Europe and was used to uncut...until an Australian boyfriend (cut). I am now married to an American, also cut. Don't be scared--be excited!
As for the 'poop whilst pushing' question: it happens as the same muscles work both. If you have an epidural (done that) you won't know if it happens. Without an epidural (done that too) you might or might not be aware. It just happens--there is so much going on down there that it won't even enter your mind. I promise. When pregnant I was v nervous about this (with my first I wanted my hair done and lipstick on--look good for the photos!) but midwives, nurses, doctors have seen it all and it doesn't phase them one bit. You won't believe the amount of misc fluids that come out and you won't care because your heart will be swooning as you wait to see this little person. I was told that years ago a woman would be given a pre-delivery enema and I don't think I'd want that.
As for 'same down there' after childbirth: it varies. It takes a few weeks/months to heal and following that some women are looser, some tighter, and some about the same. I was told to think of the birth canal like an accordion: it stretches and shrinks back. For me, it was more-or-less the same: after a few months the swelling goes away and things tighten back up. I will say that sex became even better--no complaints before but the increased blood flow and/or hormones enhanced matters. And, do your kegel exercises (very important).
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