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Originally Posted by Kena
I didn't think that at all! I am pretty darn good at patronizing and lecturing myself so I'm being totally honest (not that I'm a ol' lier other times!) when I say I didn't think that. My last comment on my post was meant in a "Hayyyy Girl, what's up" way. Think Niecy Nash.
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Haha, Niecy Nash. She makes me laugh, and also want to go 'round the neighborhood, collecting everyone's junk, so I can pile it up in my living room and have them come clean my house and give me new furniture and perhaps wear can-can dancer outfits during my garage sale. This is a life goal.
But I'm glad I didn't come across that way, anyway - I was just checking, because while I am likely not known for being overly friendly, when I offend people, I tend to want to do it on purpose, and it's mostly done for a reason (even if the reason is "Annie's bored," though I usually have a better reason than that). I don't like offending people not-on-purpose, and try to avoid that when possible.
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Originally Posted by TrueFaith77
I think this project is a joke. Typical of Dan Savage. A friend of mine walked out on him during a speech he gave at my college, because Dan Savage insisted it was the duty of all gay people to come out of the closet. Some people aren't fortunate enough to have that as an option. That's the kind of presumptuous, classist perspective that Dan Savage continues to propogate in his disingenuous "It Gets Better" campaign--maybe for rich white gay men like himself.
I'm sorry, but gay people are just as cruel to other gays as homophobes are--gays kill each other with AIDS, gays use each other sexually, gays glamourize a lifestyle of self-destruction and drugs, gays establish unrealistic beauty standards, gays demand total subservience to the Gay Political Agenda, gays ostracize those who are different or unattractive or (among gay men) too feminine.
I'm sure much of this comes from an internalized, learned homophobia and persistent low self-esteem, but to pretend "It Gets Better" doesn't deal with the problem that when gay people survive the pain of adolescence and (often) small-town ignorance, they rarely find in the gay community or urban enclaves a protective, tolerant embrace that fosters kindness to each other and provides the tools to deal with a homophobic culture that exists outside of "small-town" American and is, in fact, PRODUCED in our cultural centers (from Harvard to NYC to Hollywood to DC).
To paraphrase Will Ferrell: "Dan Savage can suck it!"
ETA: I see I was being somewhat redundant to some of the sentiments expressed in the thread. So I'd also like to add that I'm annoyed by the celebro-centric nature of the campaign. All it does is raise celebrity as a value (another fallacy celebrated in Gay Hegemony) instead of the real value (pop) artists could provide: in making art that challenges hetero and homo hegemony. Do any of these people use their influence to promote or even distribute movies like those by Julian Hernandez? No. Because he's not favored by the media power centers, to which they insist you bow--if you want "it" to "get better."
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As much as I can from my own position in the world, I understand where you are coming from, and there have been a lot of people saying similar things (not just the few things here, but all over the 'net). I do think that Dan Savage operates from a position of privilege that many, if not most, LGBTIQ folk do not have the benefit of, and I think that even when he means well/thinks he means well, that often skews his advice or rhetoric.And I honestly can't imagine how he thought saying it's the duty of all gay people to come out of the closet would be an actual, in-practice, good idea. I'm a straight, cisgendered chick and even I know that's just...ridiculous.
At the same time, I can't agree with the idea that telling kids that it gets better - because it DOES get better for a lot of people, so why not you or you or you? - is an entirely bad thing. The idea that my life would probably not be so damn awful when I got older got me through a lot of what was an admittedly ****ty childhood (not only school bullying, but my family situation, which was...not good). Did it get super-fantastic? No, not yet. But it's still better than it was. And maybe it will be super-fantastic later, if I am lucky. If not, at least it's still better than it was.
And I do know that is not reality for everyone, or going to be true for everyone. But I don't think being offered a little hope when you have none of your own is an entirely bad thing - and those kids can't get to those urban enclaves that aren't going to be as great as they thought if they don't make it through the right now and stick around for it, anyway. Perhaps there needs to be a companion movement of some sort that promotes tolerance within the community itself, as well? What do you think would work or help?
As for the celebrity-centric nature of the project, I think that was just bound to happen, and I'm not sure that's entirely bad, either. As kids, we look up to those celebrities, and I imagine it helps some kids to see that it's possible to be both gay and "successful."
Looking at it from purely an adult point of view, though, yes - we should be working to foster that environment that you described, absolutely. But in the meantime, making a little video that will maybe help a suicidal teen doesn't seem like it would be a complete derailment.