[Zombie]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

I'm used to it, unfortunately. I seem to have become a champion Bottler over the last few years. Just cork it up and put it on the shelf in my own little "warehouse". I tried a couple of times to talk to people on the outside world, but they just made me see that it just wasn't worth it in the end. They turned out not to be trustworthy. So I just don't talk about it anymore and just simply take my bad weather out on myself in unhealthy fashions. Shiny Happy Bee. That's me *Thumbs up and fake smile*. Maybe it's one of the reasons I like Fleetwood Mac so much. Their **** distracts from my ****, so to speak lol.

I understand. If I'm being completely honest, I never really thought my habit of packing everything away like I do was a problem until pretty recently. Before, I'd looked at it like, "Well, hey - at least I'm not dragging around all depressed and brooding." I mean, I get happy and I get sad and junk, but in general, I'm so even-tempered, I might as well be Commander Data.

But then my mother died at the beginning of the year. My relationship with her was complicated (to say the least - she was a raging alcoholic & cuddly like Hannibal Lecter and I had to go into foster care in my early teens), but I'd packed her into a box, as it were, a long time ago. And then all of a sudden - KABLAM! I am rattling around everywhere like a Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm Flailing Tube Man.

So now I'm working on working through my issue there. I have no idea how to do it or if there is a proper way to go about it, but we'll see how it goes. And if you ever need an ear, I'm here - no risk, 'cos everyone knows that people on the Internet aren't real.

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

For everyone who gave words of wisdom/comfort involving my parents' potential separation: thank you. I should've said that I feel guilty for pretty much wanting them to separate for selfish reasons. My life would just be so much easier if I only had to deal with one of them at a time. Whatever, they're gonna do what they're going to do.

Annie... that story about your kids' father is incredible. I'm so sorry that someone so close to you passed, especially since he was their dad... but I'm glad that the situation didn't end up much, much worse.

Thanks, hon. It was hard and it still is, but we do all right now.

I do not think that you should feel guilty (this coming from a former Catholic where guilt is our chief weapon of self-destruction, ha!), though I understand why you feel that way. I think that sometimes, we have to be "selfish," particularly when it comes to our own happiness. Unless you're actively working towards having them break up when they'd otherwise want to stay together themselves, I think that it's natural to want to see an unhappy situation end when it directly affects you like that.

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

Annie's right I have no room to talk but bottling it up is not good. I turned to the internet to get me through my mum and dad's divorce, two friends dying and the likes and now I'm at a stage where I only wake up in a morning to see Debbie Harry's face and make sure she's okay, the Blondie gig the night before went well etc etc. I don't want to think that anyone else is feeling like I am because it upsets me, no matter who they are. I'm not expecting you to trust me straight away because that could be considered weird but if you want to PM me, I'm more than likely to always be here for a chat, college has installed free wi-fi for errywun now so I'll still be on through the day

Here is a hug for you. *hug* I'm so sorry for all of that. My offer to Bee goes to you, too - if you ever need an ear, gimme a holler. I'm rubbish at dealing with my own life sometimes, but I make a damn good listener and always have good advice that I never take myself.