Quote:
Originally Posted by Zombie
Haha. Kids are hilarious.
Mine seem to come up with the most off-the-wall ****e imaginable sometimes, and it cracks me up. I've already relayed the STYVY NIKS sneaking into my house story that my daughter cobbled together on another thread, but there've been other awesome bits, like:
When my son was first old enough to actually experience Christmas (not as an infant, like), his father was SUPER excited to do the whole Santa Claus thing, so he sat down with Asher one day and was all, "Hey, buddy! Do you know where your Christmas presents come from?" hoping he'd get a "Santa!" or maybe "North Pole!" or something in reply.
Alas, that was not to be - my son's reply, complete with eyeroll? "The closet. Duh."
Another time, I'd taken both kids to the park, and they generally had a hard time leaving when it was time to go, with a lot of whining and such, so that day, I had the brilliant idea that if I made leaving the park a game, they'd be more apt to not pitch a fit about the whole thing.
So I said, "Let's play Simon Says! Simon Says walk like a soldier! Simon Says walk like a duck!" etc. My daughter went along with me as I walked like a duck or whatever, but my son just followed behind us, shuffling his feet and sighing loudly. After a few minutes, I feel a tug on my shirt and look down, and he says, in the most put-upon tone imaginable, "Mom. Simon Says walk NORMAL."
And last one - I was trimming my daughter's bangs one day a few years ago, with my son watching, and he says, "What are you doing?"
"Trimming Mimi's bangs," I say.
"What's bangs?"
"A GIRL THING!" Mimi pipes up.
"Only girls have bangs?" he says.
"YES!" Mimi says.
And before I can correct this assumption, he nods sagely and says, "Oh! I get it. Girls have bangs, and boys have testicles!" and promptly walks off, apparently secure in his newfound knowledge of the ways of anatomy.
I lol'd.
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OMG! The closet thing. Sara was about 8 is when she found out there was no Santa. Actually, it started with Easter. I guess she found the basket in the closet without me knowing. Of course, I hid the basket on Easter Sunday and when she found it, she asked me where the basket was from the Easter Bunny. I told her, "That
is the basket from the Easter Bunny!" "Nuh Uh mom! That's the one from the closet that's been there for the past week!" I couldn't come up with any excuse on the fly, so I told her I
am the Easter Bunny! She didn't like that one bit. Poor kid started crying and asked me about Santa. I told her I'm Santa too, and the tooth fairy. I'll tell you what... LMAO! She started bawling even harder and yelled at me, "You LIED, mommy, you LIED to me!!!" Once she went to her room and slammed the door, I couldn't help but to crack up at her. Poor kid was pretty traumatized.
I should tell you guys about the vibrator incident soon.