Quote:
Originally Posted by David
What can parents do to deal with the sexual activity in young teens & pre-teens? Should the police be involved at all? Should the school administrators be involved? Is it strictly a problem for the family to deal with?
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I agree with what others said... there's not much parents can do to change their children's sexual activities, and I generally don't think anyone needs to be brought in outside a child's family when dealing with such matters (unless we're talking about rape).
I know I personally grew up in a very 'live and let live' hippie household. The subject of sexuality was broached to me at a very young age, and was kept in the spotlight. Nudity was never an issue in our house either, nor was about anything for that matter. My parents dabbled openly in recreational drugs, and took me to the mostly gay nude beach across the lake from us from the time I could walk. We always had very open ended discussions about absolutely everything, but my parents flatly refused to mould my mind into
anything. I think my parents viewed sheltering children to be a much bigger danger than exposing them to too much.
Some would say this would push children in such a household into early sexual activity. But I didn't cross that bridge until I was almost 20. I just knew I wasn't ready. Each child is so different though. I "got" the greater picture of what my parents were conveying... while my brother went the complete opposite path. I didn't drink until I was 22, didn't have sex until I was 19 (almost 20), graduated high school and college on time with good grades, and generally always did the "right" thing. My brother on the other hand had his first pregnancy scares with his girlfriends from the age of 12 or 13, by the age of 18 he was a father 2 times over, never graduated high school after being kicked out of several, and has been to at least a dozen different drug rehab programs for his addiction to crack cocaine. My brother and I are perfect examples that there is no such thing as a blanket approach for child rearing.
In an idealistic world, I almost wish kids could learn and experiment with their sexualities without all of the social constructs, repercussions, and dogma. But of course we have factors such as pregnancy, disease, rape, and religion which throw a wrench into that idea. My biggest issue with sex ed is it seems to teach children to fear and be ashamed of sex and sexuality. Of course, I'm saying all of this without being a parent. I'm not sure how being a father would impact any of my feelings or views... I might be profoundly more conservative. Parenthood has the power to change people in the most elemental ways. Sex and sexuality is just one of those issues that somehow is talked about way too much... yet, not enough at the same time. Perhaps because there are not now, nor have there ever been, definitive answers.