Thread: Gay dating
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Old 12-26-2009, 01:51 AM
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louielouie2000 louielouie2000 is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2001
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I encountered a couple of boyfriends who had a problem with me spending so much time and money on my DeLorean. I reminded them curtly that the car came before they did... and the car would probably be around long after they're gone. Some liked to make fun of my beloved Stevie too... but they usually liked Mariah Carey, Tori Amos, or other such abominations... so that didn't bother me!

Something I've found in dating is that you don't necessarily have to find somebody who shares your interests at all. You do however, have to find somebody who respects them. While not really caring one way or another about DeLoreans or Fleetwood Mac, my "husband" Jimmy LOVES my passion for both. There seems to be a great amount of gay men who just don't really care for much of anything, but themselves. But that could probably be said about straight dating too. People are inherently self-oriented. I used to search far and wide for someone who shared my interests and passions. I felt it was essential, because without that... another person couldn't possibly "get" me. The one person I dated who shared all of my interests turned out to be the worst person I've ever encountered, and I'm still undoing the damage he did to me.

Interestingly enough, my "husband" Jimmy and I are nearly complete opposites. I'm low key, calm, laid back, and enjoy quiet... he's hyper, loud, and passionate . We balance each other out... and any weakness the other has, it's the other's strength. These big differences would cause some couples to fight... but the common element that makes it all work for us is respect.

What I encourage you to do is this: look outside of the box. Try going on a date with somebody you'd normally not give the time of day. That's what Jimmy was for me. I always seemed to fall for the same kind of guy... exactly my age, very handsome, very smart, very masculine, very cocky. Jimmy is none of those things: he's 11 years older, not so masculine, not at all cocky, not tall, dark, or handsome, but he is extremely smart, and has the best sense of humor I've encountered in another person.

I think the biggest thing that made it possible for me to have a successful relationship was also me getting to the point in my life (for the very first time) where I actually didn't WANT to be in a relationship! I was so totally 100% happy with just who I was, and didn't have any interest in somebody ****ing that up. I had a good job, amazing friends, the best family in the world, a cute little dog, a nice car and house... who needed the complications and crap relationships bring? And of course, when I FINALLY decide it's ok to be single (and truly believe it), that's when I met the person I'll likely be with until death separates us. I'm sure all of this is rambling and non-sensical... but these are my experiences. I hope you could make some sort of sense out of what I'm trying to say!
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