[Betsy]

Mad4Stevie--

Geez, what a nightmare.

She sounds like a typical female going through menopause...catty, cutting, conniving, bitchy, and a control freak. Add to that, that she used to be an elementary teacher. (I used to be a high school teacher. Talking to an elementary teacher was difficult. They talked to me like I was a second grader.) Maybe this is her approach?

My mother-in-law is a former farm housewife. No matter what I cook, how I clean, or what I do, it's never good. Add to that, that the whole family is Catholic and I am not.

It takes years of patience and practice....and a vow that you will never be like her.

As for dealing with her? Don't. Make your own plans.

I tried the "suck up approach", it failed miserably....and it made her think she was all-powerful....and she respected me even less.

Sometimes it takes the brutually honest approach. Sure feelings will be hurt, and God knows, how much of it will sink in...but the ground rules are laid. It took me damn near 10 years to do it, so don't wait as long as I did.

You don't have to live with her...or see her on a daily basis, nor do you live in the same town as she does. Do your own thing and make your plans. Try to keep yourself happy and positive.

She doesn't pay rent, so don't let her in your head.