[Richard B]

A C U R A
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
All Cars Usually Require Adjustment
Automobile Causes Universal Road Accidents

A M C
All Makes Combined
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe

A U D I
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention

B E E T L E
Battered Everywhere, Expect To Lose Engine

B M W
Big Money Waste
Brings Me Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet

B U I C K
Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King

C A M A R O
Can't America Make A Real One?

C H E V R O L E T
Can Handle Everything, Runs Over Limbs, Even Trees
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques

C H E V Y
Cheapest Heap Ever Visioned Yet

D O D G E
Darn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere

F I A T
Failed Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It All the Time
Fix It Again Tomorrow

F O R D
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill

G E O
Good Engineering Overlooke

G M
Garbage Makers
General Maintenance
General Mistake

H O N D A
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating

H Y U N D A I
Hope You Understand Nothing`s Driveable And Inexpensive

J E E P
Jinxed Engine has Extra Parts
Jumps Everything Ever Parked

L O T U S
Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

M A Z D A
Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

M U S T A N G
Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good

O L D S M O B I L E
Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick’s Irregular Leftover Equipment
Old Ladies Driving Slowly Making Others Behind Insanely Late Everyday

P I N T O
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate

P L Y M O U T H
Please Leave Your Money Out Under The Hood

P O N T I A C
Poor Old Nut Thinks It's A Cadillac

P O R S C H E
Phased Out Racer-Still Can't Hold Engine
Proof Of Spoiled Children Having Everything

S A A B
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken

S M A R T
Slow Moving And Really Tiny

S U B A R U
Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually

T O Y O T A
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid

V O L V O
Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

V W
Virtually Worthless