Quote:
Originally Posted by BTFLCHLD
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
6:00 am - At last! I Go Pee!
My favorite thing!
8:00 am - Dog food!
My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride!
My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park!
My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted!
My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch!
My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard!
My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail!
My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones!
My favorite thing!
6:00 pm - They're home!
My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball!
My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people!
My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed!
My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear,
I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.
In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts,
since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.
However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.
I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies."
I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.
I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
The dog receives special privileges.
He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.
He is obviously retarded.
The bird has got to be an informant.
I observe him communicate with the guards regularly.
I am certain that he reports my every move.
My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,
so he is safe for now . . .
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There it is!!! The cat and dog thing!!!! Thank you!, I couldnt remember what thread it was in last. Thanks for re-posting.
