^ You haven't tried meds because of the stigma associated with them? Oh, honey, don't punish yourself because of other people's perceptions. Not everyone needs meds, but the fact that you'd like to kill yourself & you're just "muddling through" makes me think that maybe they're worth a try.
I hate someone to suffer because they are embarrassed, or cuz they think they should be able to do it without help. Using medication does not make you weak, or a bad person.
Now. Your other point is a good one, even though people are sensitive about it & may have misunderstood you. Our society used to treat the mentally ill terribly. It was an embarrassment for the person and their family & many patients were mistreated for years. But it's swung so far the other way, now
it has gotten to the point that every emotion needs to be labeled and treated. Little Jimmy can't sit still & isn't doing well in school? He must have ADHD, you'd better medicate him. Your friend Betty has been crying for 3 days over a breakup with her boyfriend? She's depressed, she should get meds. I'm really tired all the time & have no desire to do anything? I think there's a pill for that.
When I worked with mentally ill teens, they used to have prn (as needed) medications available to calm them down (it was basically a mild sedative) so they could get control of their emotions & not act out in a negative way because of them.
But many of them thought that ANY emotion that wasn't happiness was bad, and they should squash it. "I just got in an argument with Mary. I need my prn." No, you probably don't.
It's OK to feel anger. It's OK to be sad. These feelings are not abnormal, unless they are literally affecting your activities of daily life. Try to read a book, or try some breathing/relaxation techniques. Try removing yourself from the situation & counting to 10. Try to talk to someone about it. If these things don't work, then move on to the next step.
People want an easy fix, a magic pill - there isn't one. YOU still have to work at making yourself well, and dealing with your feelings. There IS NO simple answer. Meds will only help so much - you have to do some of the work yourself.
I have a friend who insists she needs her antidepressant, says she's a bitch without them & she snaps at everyone about everything. But she eats a ****ty diet, doesn't exercise & drinks alcohol in excess. Um, hello?!?! Of course, her PMD prescribed the med, so she doesn't get any counselling either. She said "hey doc, I think I'm depressed, I'm down a lot & I have mood swings." And doc gave her the meds & has for the past 4 or 5 years. THAT'S the kind of **** that happens every day, and it's not right.
It's doing a real disservice to people. Yes it's great that help is more readily available, and that there is less of a stigma than in years past, but many people want to blame something else for their problems & not take responsibility for their actions.