[sara1998]

Originally Posted by greatdarkwing

http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald...l/16563709.htm


If you do venture out on the roads of Miami, here are some rules to bear in mind:

• Never stop for a yellow light unless you want to be rear-ended.

• Ditto for a red light.

• In fact, as a general rule, never stop.

• In Miami, signaling a turn is viewed as a sign of weakness.

• If you find yourself stuck behind a slow-moving car that does not appear to have a driver, that car is in fact being operated by a senior citizen approximately the height of a Pepsi can, but with worse eyesight. DO NOT ATTEMPT TO PASS THIS CAR. At any moment the operator could suddenly decide to change lanes without warning. Just be patient, and within a mile the car will drive off the road, often into a canal or building, and you can pass safely.

• Whatever else you do, do NOT get on Interstate 95. If, by mistake, you DO get on Interstate 95, whatever you do, do NOT get off.

About parking: In Miami, it is acceptable to park pretty much anywhere, including on sidewalks, lawns, and slow-moving pedestrians. There are also some legal parking spaces; if you find one, you're supposed to pay for it at one of the electronic machines located around the downtown area, which you can identify by the clot of people cursing at them, because they never work.

Parking is trickier in Miami Beach, where the last available space was taken in 1997. If you go over there, you will have to leave your car with a valet, who will park it somewhere else. Haiti, for example.

This is so damn true. I'll never forget the first time I drove while there. I was white knuckled all the way. Even the old folks were about to run me off the road.

God, I love Miami. I used to go down every year when I was a kid. Great memories... like that time we were in the Explorer (me, aunt, uncle) and was almost shot by the guy next to us. Ya, he pulled out a gun and pointed it toward my uncle. Needless to say, we were running that red light.
Oh, and that time the drunks ran through my grandmothers front yard, and hit my grandmothers car... that was fun. The cops were everywhere.

Honestly. I really did love Miami. I always had fun down there, and came home to sleepy Indiana with at least one interesting story to tell. It helped that my family lived in the ghetto down there.