Quote:
Originally Posted by skcin
The mom said to Jo "I'm not used to this, I'm never outside with them. I feel stupid, just sitting here staring." Jo said "well, you don't have to sit here & stare - go play with them."
Sheebus.  |
My.God. See, same thing happens on Wife Swap. They are both train wrecks. I have to take breaks when I watch them, it's so appalling to me.
Also, I don't understand why people have
so many kids, if they don't have the skills and time to raise them. Sure, one, or maybe two - but four? Or seven? When you know you work all day?
Then, why don't the parents notice that their kids are total brats? I don't mean that in a bad way, but some elements of discipline seem obvious to me. Sure, maybe I've watched some Dr. Phil or whatever, and have common sense (
) but still. If I noticed that my discipline tools weren't working, I'd, you know, buy a book, or look some **** up online, or watch supernanny or dr. phil. lol. But really, it's all right there. One Dr. Phil book, a few Supernanny episodes, and you can have the tools. You just have to do them. Which I do, with my friend's kids. Like, my bosses daughter loves to sit on my lap and "work" when she comes in. She is three, a little behind on talking, but very cool. She wrote on my hand (or something), I asked her not to. Then, she did it again straightaway, as kids will do to test their boundaries - I immediately took her off my lap and transferred her to her dad, while saying "I told you not to write on my hand". Problem solved. She doesn't get to have work fun on my lap unless she follows the rules, and now she knows that. I wasn't short or anything, I didn't yell at her - there was just a consequence for her action. That is simple, a consequence for a child's action. She didn't even cry or anything, she knew. (Sometimes she cries when she has to leave my lap to ride around with her dad on errands).
Is that really that complicated? You don't have to "be mean" to discipline your child (although a little fear of the parent may be healthy, lol), you just have to stick to your routine of consequences for inappropriate actions.
You can, in fact, be pretty calm and pleasant while doing so. Which is probably healthier for your kids, not talking to them too harshly. I've never heard my friend raise her voice, or have much tude, while disciplining hers, and they are great kids. She just says, like "Geneva, unless you raise your math grade, you aren't going to such and such". Or like (calmly, without expression) "Gavin, you need to put your toys away and find your shoes. Do you want to go to fireworks with us? Then get your shoes. Stop whining and use your words."
In turn, her kids are calm and reasonable.
Obviously, there are more tantrums and whatnot when they are 2-3, but those tools still work in a way. Especially the "stop whining, use your words" thing. And of course, if you are calm, the energy transfers to your kids and they tend to calm down. And she has worked it this way through her B.A., her Masters, and now her PhD, with working full time that whole period. Plus sundries. There is a middle kid, I just didn't use him for an example, lol. He's really cool, though.
My point is, it can be done.
The people who try to reason with their 3 year olds are my favorite.
Hello, they are three, they have very little ability to think beyond what they want. Seriously, that happens all the time on SuperNanny - the mom is all "honey, please get dressed for school" and the kid is all "no! waaahhhh!" and then somehow the mom then is cowed by the child, and does what the child wants. WTF?
What makes me even more appalled is that these people think it's fine to have all these kids, and raise them this way. I have doubts that I'd be a good mom, so, you know, I don't have any kids. Hello? In spite of the fact that I'm pretty sure I'd be a better mom than all these yahoos.
The ones that don't play with their kids are the strangest, because they really should have known they didn't want kids. If you don't even want to hang out with children (I don't usually, that's how I know I shouldn't have kids right now) then you should really not have them. Which seems pretty obvious. It's like how I wouldn't have pets if I don't like to hang out with my pets. My friend actually has pets and doesn't really pet them or hang out with them (but the kids do) and that even bothers me. You know, pet your dog when you come home, and play with your kids, if you are going to have either. Otherwise, if they don't mean anything to you - DON'T GET/HAVE THEM!
Also, if you don't have that much money - maybe keep it to one kid, or two? It seems that the people don't understand the connection between how many kids they have, and how much they will then have to work to support those kids, and therefore not spend time with the kids. Simple ratios, people. It's like, every new kid equals less of your resources for the kids you already have. Not complex.
Am I out of line, here? Do these things seem just as obvious to everyone else?
I mean, I find it hard to believe that the things I said require genius brainpower, or are advanced evolutionary concepts.
For Christ's sake.
I guess they aren't teaching "The unexamined life is not worth living" in school anymore. So we go blindly forth, to destruction.