Let's see...
My mother is horribly, horribly prejudiced against just about everyone...blacks, gays, she doesn't need much of a reason. She's also extremely adept at playing mind games (inducing guilt trips, etc). She's never forgiven me for leaving home.
My mother's mother is a pill-popping alcoholic who is now in a nursing home suffering from dementia. She regularly sneaks booze into the home and gets drunk. I haven't liked her since I was about 9 years old, when I discovered just what a drunken, abusive wretch she is.
My mother's sister is a moderately retarded (though I'm convinced she plays it up) sociopath. Nobody really likes her. Fortunately, she has no children.
My older brother is an uber-conservative Southern Baptist minister who I'm sure would disown me if he knew I was gay (and I'm sure he at least suspects it). I try to avoid him the one or two times a year I have to be in the same room with him. His wife is tolerable, but I think when the chips are down, she's just as bigoted as he is.
My younger brother is kind of a slacker, although he's probably the smartest one of the bunch (except for yours truly, of course). He dropped out of high school and now works in a cigarette store and still lives with our parents.
My dad is tolerable. When I was little, he had a horrible temper but has mellowed out considerably over the years. He's still terribly narrow-minded, though.
My dad's dad is in his 80s and is the source of endless amusement for me because he's a Bush-hating Democrat who subscribes to commie rags (I saw The Progressive and The Nation on his coffee table). It drives my parents nuts...my dad is a Bill O'Reilly fan.
My dad's mom, sadly, suffered a stroke 10 years ago and hasn't spoken a word since. Her and my dad's dad are the only relatives that I really like, but they're getting up in years and aren't in good health.
My dad's brother and his wife are both borderline alcoholics who seem to have gotten away with bankruptcy fraud. The wife is tolerable, but she's not terribly smart. Sadly, they have bred.
So as you can see, just about my whole family pretty much sucks, and I dread this time of year, because I have to drive 6 hours to see them, and am ready to chew my arms and legs off to get away after 45 minutes.
