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Originally Posted by dissention
...was that she was a mutant with superhuman size and strength. Her mother, quite blind and always doped up on oxycontin, had unprotected sex with The Toxic Avenger and she was the bastard result. Thelma's skin started to bulge, it began to take on a green hue, and she roared so loudly that old biddies in Jersey thought that a quake was coming. They threw down their bridge cards, secured the cheesecake, and fashioned their wigs with extra bobby pins and _______.
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Gerald had had enough and changed the channel. "What a dumb TV show". He switched to Comedy Central and watched "Comedy Central Presents: Maria Bamford". "Funny Stuff" he thought. He went to the fridge and got ......