I JUST got back from a lunch with her. As soon as she saw me, she put her arms around me and kissed my cheek. We went inside and sat down and I immediately ordered a drink. We didnt say anything for a second. I said "well what are your intentions here?" She said that she missed me, but that she was angry at me and resentful. I said that I would agree. I told her about remembering this time I jumped in the shower and scared her about 2 years ago when I she didnt know I was home early. She actually started crying. She said that she is thinking about all these good times we had together, and is trying to let go of the bad, because in the end she still cares about me and doesnt want to remember the negative stuff.
I made a point to tell her that we've only been apart for 3 months now, and that's not nearly long enough to let go of any resentment that is festering. Especially if we tried to get back together...and if I did one little thing to set her off, all those bad memories would come back. I told her that wasnt fair to me, and it isnt fair to her either. I told her I wanted her to be happy, and that I cant make her happy right now.
After all the emotional stuff, we got to talking about my father, who is very sick and in the hospital. She was concerned I think....and we talked about me going to New Zealand next year. She honestly cant believe that I'm going to do it...and she claims that the knowledge of that was NOT was caused her to part ways with me.
At the end of lunch, she reached across the table and grabbed my hand and she said she loved me. I told her I love her too, and maybe we could start over again sometime up the road...and I said I was sorry, and left.
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