I met a cutie last night and he had the most hilarious story. He's a cop and he had to testify in a case against a man who molested his step-daughter. I know, that part isn't light. He was the officer who arrived at the home of this man and arrested him. His wife caught him in the act and called the police but he didn't know this. She took her daugher and left before the police arrived.
So Jake* has to "pat-frisk" this guy to make sure he doesn't have any weapons. He frisks him and notices the man has a "large, erect penis". His words, and he uses these in his report. It gets better.
So at trial he's giving his testimony and the defense lawyer is cross-examining and asks "What did you discover when you pat-frisked so and so?"
Jake, "Well, I don't know how to say this."
Lawyer, "Just say it."
Jake, "I discovered a large, erect penis."
Lawyer, "Are you a doctor?"
Jake, "No."
Lawyer, "Do you have any experience with a large, erect penis?"
Jake, "I have 28 years of hands-on experience with a large, erect penis."

EVERYONE laughed at this including the judge.

Oh man, that story made my weekend. Oh yeah, so did the officer.

Get yer mind outta the gutter!
*Name changed to protect the innocent.
