[strandinthewind]

I think a little levity in this sad sad situation is needed - so - a friend of mine sent me this faux living will:

Subject: Living Will


I, _________________________ (fill in the blank), being of
sound mind and body, do not wish to be kept alive indefinitely by
artificial means.

Under no circumstances should my fate be put in the hands of
peckerwood politicians who couldn't pass ninth-grade biology if their
lives depended on it. If a reasonable amount of time passes and I
fail to sit up and ask for a cold beer and the score of the Red Sox
game, it should be presumed that I won't ever get better.

When such a determination is reached, I hereby instruct my
spouse, children, and/or attending physicians to pull the plug, reel
in the tubes and call it a day. If they won't do it, go out on the
street and get some random passerby.

Under no circumstances shall the members of the Legislature
enact a special law to keep me on life-support machinery. I don't
care how many fundamentalist votes they're trying to scrounge for
their run for the presidency; they should play politics with someone
else's life and leave me alone to die in peace. It is my wish that
these boneheads mind their own damn business, and pay attention
instead to the health, education and future of the millions of
Americans who aren't in a permanent coma. It just goes to show you
how sick you have to be in this country to get Congress to pay
attention to your health care.

I couldn't care less if a hundred thousand religious zealots
send e-mails to legislators in which they pretend to care about me or
demonstrate outside my hospital with their bleeding Jesuses and
sandwiches with Mary's face on them. I don't know these people, and
I certainly haven't authorized them to preach and crusade on my
behalf. And the Pope should mind his own friggin' business, too.


And if any of my family goes against my wishes and tries to
turn my case into a political cause, I hereby promise to come back
from the grave and make his or her existence a living hell.

______________________________________
Signature

______________________________________
Witness