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Originally Posted by Johnny Stew
Excellent point, Hillary.
Let's not forget that, in the not-so-distant past, many children were also ostracized if their parents were of different religions or different ethnicities/nationalities.
If we start down the road of determining which types of couples should or shouldn't have children...... well, let's just say that's a frightening notion.
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I can hear the flaming already, but here goes.
And it's not directed at anyone, it's just a general statement.
I think what Sparks is trying to get at, at least what I've gotten from it, is that the desire to have children is essentially a selfish one. I don't think that just applies to gay men and women, but to heterosexuals, too. People want to have or adopt kids primarily because they want to be able to look at the kid and say to themselves 'Look what I've done. I raised a child.' Humans have paternal and maternal instincts wired into them, it's natural to want to breed and raise kids. But that doesn't make it any less unselfish; people have kids for the personal satisfaction of doing so. I mean, why else would people who were ostracized because of their religion or ethnicity or nationality continue to have children? Surely they knew that their children would face the same society that they were faced with. They had them because they
wanted them.
In terms of gay couples having children, I always look at it from the child's point of view. For example, how are they going to be treated by their peers and society growing up with two moms or two dads? Whereas one might grow up perfectly fine and not be hassled by it, others won't have that luxury. They might be teased about having "fags" for dads or "dykes" for moms, or have the notion that they're somehow less worthy because of their domestic situation pounded into their brains on a daily basis. How does it affect the
kid? I think that's the most important thing that should be taken into consideration when the topic of same-sex couples is broached, the paternal or maternal instincts and wishes to have a child
should not, in my opinion, because they are not what is important.
It certainly isn't fair that kids from same-sex homes are treated differently, just as it isn't fair that same-sex couples are treated differently than heterosexual couples. It isn't fair that, as Hillary pointed out, biracial children are treated differently than other children. I find it to be disgusting. But that's the society we live in, unfortunately. While it's nice to say that couples are working to change that by proving that they can be fit parents and can raise healthy children, the reality of the matter is that the general population is not going to adapt to that idea any more than George Bush is going to adapt to liberalism, and that means that the children will possibly be ostracized.
I'm all for same-sex couples adopting, just as I am for heterosexual couples adopting. But unlike heterosexual couples, there's an added element to same-sex couple adoptions that could make life harder on the child. As long as that is acknowledged and the parents are ready to deal with it, though, more power to them. Just make sure that the adoption is in the best interests of the child and not just to fulfill your paternal or maternal desires.