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Originally Posted by sparky
The world is your urinal.
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I get a real kick out of public restrooms. Guys are always sizing each other up as discreetly as possible. Then, after they've shaken it all out and zip up, they grab their pants, lift them up, and look down as if they want to make sure it's still there.
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Originally Posted by sparky
Wrinkles add character.
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Roc and Serious Skin Care are my best friends.
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Originally Posted by sparky
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
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They don't?
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Originally Posted by sparky
One mood -- all the time.
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I'm worse than a grandma during a particularly doozy of a hot flash.
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Originally Posted by sparky
Your underwear is $8.95 for three-pack.
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Not mine!
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Originally Posted by sparky
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
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Not for me!
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Originally Posted by sparky
You almost never have strap problems in public.
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Unless I'm having difficulties with my underwear.
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Originally Posted by sparky
You only have to shave your face and neck.
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No comment.
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Originally Posted by sparky
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
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Darling, I wax my legs.
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Originally Posted by sparky
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a
mustache.
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Had a soul patch once, then got rid of it after a week.