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"If you're not a liberal at 20, you have no heart, and if you're not a conservative at 40, you have no head."
- Winston Churchill
"The biggest conspiracy has always been the fact that there is no conspiracy. Nobody's out to get you. Nobody gives a sh*t whether you live or die. There, you feel better now? "
"(Sept. 11) was a big thing for me. I was saying to liberal America, "Well, what are you offering?" And they said, "Well, we're not going to protect you, and we want some more money." That didn't interest me."
- Dennis Miller
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