For my political friends on the Ledge....
I expect a list from the Left...
Enjoy!!
You know you are a Liberal when (.....Drumroll, please!!.......):
You think displaying the American flag is jingoistic or Nationalistic.
You think Independence Day is an evil holiday and you won't celebrate it because of the reasons stated above.
You are constantly and forever whining, griping, and complaining about how you can't stand America, yet you are still a U.S. citizen who lives here, pays your taxes, and supports the economy.
You think we deserved the Sept. 11 attacks and secretly hope for the next attack.
You think it is terrible for someone to come into a public school classroom and talk about Christianity, but it is okay for someone to some in there to talk about Kaballah, Buddhism, or Allah, etc.
You think that divorce is always the right answer to any marriage problems.
You were very saddened to learn of the deaths of the Hussein brothers last summer and think that it was wrong.
You hope that Saddam Hussein is being well-taken care of in custody and that he gets a light, fair sentence.
You always decry the U.S. admin side of the war, but have never decried Hussein's treatment of his own people during his regime.
Your opinion of Hussein's regime is, "who are we to say how he should treat his people?"
You think that George Washington is nothing but a adulterer.
You think that Columbus is nothing but an Indian-killer.
You think that only those facts about the above two should be taught in public school history.
You support school classes being multi-lingual and don't think foreign children should have to take ESL classes.
You don't think that any foreigners should have to learn english and that we should all just cater to their language needs.
You deny all of the above statements in one sentence, then turn around and basically support the statements in the next sentence.
You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination
You think that women and men are basically alike and essentially interchangeable, that "gender" is a result of culturally imposed norms, not innate, natural dispositions
you think that people are born with sexual "orientation", but that sex (or gender) can be changed with a knife.
you think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable.
You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")
You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned
You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.
You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.
You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.
You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.
You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.
You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.
You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.
You believe if Martin Sheen or Sean Penn said so, it has to be a universally known fact
You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism
You think every problem can be solved with bigger Government
You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit
You think Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden and Hitler were just "misunderstood"
You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions
Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.
Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.
You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child
The government should provide cradle to grave entitlement programs for everyone.
No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead.
The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.
You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".
You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.
You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care
You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"
You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government
You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.
You want to reward those who do not wish to work, and at the same time, punish those who do work
You think society "owes you a living"
You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.
You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.
You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.
You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military secrets to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.
You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of a fanatical hate-filled dictator.
You believe that 9/11 was an "Israeli conspiracy" and could never have been carried out by Bin Laden or his croonies
You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to appease and compromise with them.
You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas
You believe that morals and integrity should never get in the way of popular opinion
You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.
You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn
You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake
You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point
You think trial Lawyers suing big corporations with lawsuits that deny arguments of personal responsibility is a "good thing"
You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.
You think that "truth" is irrelevant.
You think Ah-Nold should not have been allowed to run for Gov, because he's "just a celebrity", but at the same time, you would have had no problem endorsing Babs, Tim Robbins, or Martin Sheen based on that very criteria.
You refuse to ever fly the American flag or any other show of patriotism because this country has so many things wrong with it.
You think that the Fourth of July is an evil holiday and refuse to celebrate it.
You have always been constantly complaining, whining, and saying how much you absolutely hate this country despite the fact that you have been living here all your life and pay taxes and support the economy.
You believe that the term 'illegal immigrant' is profane.
You are a college professor at a big university.
You believe that we deserved and asked for the Sept. 11 attacks.
You think of our servicemen/women as being brainwashed, manipulated zombies.
You think that we have no business saying how Iraq should be run and therefore Saddam should of stayed in power.
You think that any WMD's that will be found were planted there by the Bush admin.
You have ever made a donation to Greenpeace
If you protest Arnold's alleged "groping" of women while cheering when Bill Clinton admitted to sexual mis-conduct.
You believe that an accusation against a Conservative should not be concerned with whether or not that accusation is a lie or the truth but should be wholly concerned with the seriousness of the accusation.
If you decry every mention of Christian faith but demand a paid day off on Christmas
If you think Yassar Arrafat really cares about peace
If you think Jacque Chirac deserves a Nobel Prize
You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.
You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand
You are against the war on terrorism, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars making movies about it
You preach about the evils of capitalism from the comfort of your $50,000,000 Beverly Hills mansion
You think that being able to play the President on a TV show automatically grants "political expertise" in real life.
You claim that there is too much violence in the movies....then you beat up anybody who disagrees with you
You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all"
You think Hollywood is some kind of "supreme god" who can do and say no wrong, and should be worshipped 24/7
You call lies "truth" and you call truth "propaganda"
You believed Al Gore when he said he "invented the Internet"
You believed Bill Clinton when he said he "felt your pain".
You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe
You think Freedom of Speech means freedom from responsibility for what you say
You believe that Freedom of Speech only applies to a certain percentage of America, but not everybody else.
You think if a crime is committed with a gun, the gun is responsible, and NOT the offender
You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns
You think that another person's rights are an infringement upon your own rights
You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble"
You think the UN is an efficient governmental body
You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.
You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler"
You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated"
You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority
You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders
You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush
You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do
You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads off with martial arts to win over the bad guys.
You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program and lowering moral.
You think the "all Men are created equal" comments in the Declaration Of Independance means that they are actually equal in ability (as opposed to being given equal opportunity) and no one should make a choice about them based on their actual abilities to perform.
You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.
You think demanding respect is more important than actually doing something to earn it
You think the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws and are what the founding fathers meant.
You think the meaning of the Constitution changes with your moods or to suit your own ideals and/or agendas.
You think freedom OF religion means annihilation of any reference religion.
You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians or other religious groups should be taken away
You think if anybody disagrees with you, they are challenging your rights to Free Speech
You think burning the American Flag is protected by Freedom of Speech, but those who disagree are not.
When you boycott a Conservative person and/or company you call it "Freedom of Choice"....but when Conservatives boycott, you call it "McCarthyism".
You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.
You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot.
You throw down the "race" or "class" card as your only argument.
You think terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals.
You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.
You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.
You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.
You frown upon self-thought and independent thought.
You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")
You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.
And Finally......................................................
You may be a Liberal if you think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.
WHEW!!
Rob
