I honestly don't buy that Tom's death had a lot to do with what went on in the band. It makes a good story after the fact, but I think whatever went down in NYC had everything to do with the decades-long sh&t between Stevie and Lindsey and Tom's death, in that moment of decision, had not a thing to do with it. I don't even think it was part of it in the sense that she might have taken a different perspective on things since his death.... because honestly ,the lesson to take from Tom's death is that there's MORE to life than just touring.
Touring, and the commitment to finish his tour at all costs, is what killed Tom. It's a noble idea, don't be weak, gotta finish the tour, think of the fans, etc. etc. , but in the end it's what led to his death. Even Stevie said so at Musicares... that Tom SHOULD have put himself in a hospital or whatever it took to take care of his hip that was giving him so much pain that he was taking all that medication. So if Tom's death taught her anything it should have taught her that relationships are what matter, that everyone's been touring FOREVER and missing a few shows or cutting a tour short is NOT A BIG DEAL IN THE BIGGER PICTURE OF LIFE. Tom had talked of wanting to finish this tour and just spend time with his granddaughter. Well now that isn't gonna happen, and that little girl isn't going to have all the experiences and great memories with her grandfather that she would have had.
The lesson to be taken from his death is that you can drop dead at any point and you should spend the time with those you love having fun. It seems that to her that means touring.
Remember a few years ago when she was complaining that she hadn't spent anytime at home, and that she just wanted to get her little trailer up in Malibu and sit and watch the sunset on the water and hang with friends? What happened to that? She's so stuck in the grind of touring it's the only life she really knows anymore. I don't think she made her decision to issue an ultimatum about LB because she's in some deep grief about Tom, because the lesson to learn from Tom is that nothing matters more than the people you love-- not touring, not money, not business. He sacrificed his health for a tour, which ultimately cost him his life. The lesson is you can't take it with you. But she's gonna die trying apparently.