Originally Posted by KarmaContestant
I don't know that I'd be so quick to scoff at Stevie's justification for cheating, even though it sounds like an excuse, and in her case may very well be, since we've heard and seen ourselves that she has 'problems with fidelity'.
However -
(Almost) Any student of psychology will agree that when someone is making accusations, repeatedly, with no basis or evidence, that the person accusing is usually guilty of that same behavior they accuse you of, or at the very least they are guilty of that in a different relationship. After all, only a cheater, or someone prone to cheating is going to constantly be paranoid that their mate is cheating. "If *I'm* doing it, they must be too. They haven't caught me yet, so most likely I just haven't caught them."
If you are trustworthy, you will trust. If you are a cheater, you will be untrusting.
Yes, of course, there are those people who have been wronged before, and are worried it will happen again - but if you are getting cheated on, a lot, or in most/every relationship, then *you* are the problem for repeatedly choosing the wrong mate. Trust me. Stop looking for a teacher/daddy/mommy and find an actual partner who values you as much as you value them, and who offers you nothing except love. When you treat your partner like a daddy or mommy or provider, they stop seeing you as an equal, and you become a dependent.
Despite what some might think, it is also true that people accused of behavior they are not actually guilty of will often, eventually, succumb to those very accusations after a long period of time. It's not as conscience as it sounds - it happens, though, and the statistics are there, in psychology textbooks and other industry publications.
|